Called To Encourage

  Along with myself, there are two other ladies in the current congregation who lost their husbands within the last year! Both of these ladies are struggling with the same kinds of things I am.  I’ve, almost inadvertently, become good friends with one since I see her more often than the second.  

Last evening after church, we were chatting; just about shared experiences, feelings, fears, all the kinds of things we are both are going through and she looked at me and said, “I don’t like that I have to go through this.  But since I am, I’m glad it’s you who’s going through it with me!”  That totally resonated with me and in the conversation, just about five minutes later, I said the same thing back to her!  

Sometimes we ask ourselves ‘Where is the good in whatever it is we are going through?’  Many times we are left wondering and don’t see it.  But when we witness it as it’s happening, it has a powerful effect!  

Most everyone we know has experienced loss.  Most can empathize with the feeling of loneliness and grief.  My friend and I both know God is the source of our joy, but to have someone who can moment by moment understand the pain of losing a spouse, it’s profound.  

I understand that this must be a recurring incidence where there has been horrible loss from fires, flooding or other natural disasters wiping out an entire community.  There is much grief had by so many! But in many ways my friend and I were strangers since I've just recently come into this congregation.  Now we share a bond we’ll likely have for the rest of our lives.

God tells us to encourage one another. A sincere comment of, ‘I hear you.’ or ‘You’re not alone.’ to someone who is struggling, is huge!  If a person can share something they’ve been through, that of course, doesn’t replace their grieving or problem; but lends God’s light to it, it’s powerful.

Even sharing a prayer right on the spot or remembering them later, is another form of encouragement.  I remember shortly after Charles passed away, I had to get fuel in my car.  This is an easy task, as long as you know what you’re doing.  Charles always took care of fueling my car!  So out of need, I was off!  Of course when normally you could use your card and fill up at the pump without going in, on this day, I had to go into the station and ‘prepay.’  

I had NO idea how much it would take—I wanted to fill it up.  The person waiting on me didn’t speak good English, and hard as I tried I couldn’t make him understand.  I was beyond frustrated.  

I was so grateful, when another lady—a total stranger—walked up to the counter beside me.  First she put her arms around my shoulders and on the spot, in front of everyone there, prayed-aloud!  And then she took charge; asked me the right questions, and set it up the way it needed to be, so I could re-fuel.  I was beyond thankful God sent her!  Even as I write this, it still makes me cry! I was overwhelmed, as I have been on many occasions during the last 8 1/2 months since Charles’ death.  

The point is, we all need each other!  Sometimes encouragement comes from our family or church family, a phone call, text or a note in the mail.  But it can come from perfect strangers who want nothing more than serve Jesus, in what normally is no big deal, but to a person falling apart, is everything!

We all have struggles, but even then, God will put people in our path who need a smile, a hug, an on the spot prayer or just a small word of encouragement.  We need to be ready (and willing) to give-- a little of ourselves…and ultimately of God, to encourage someone, in their time of need. 

Photo Credit: See the good when things are not

A Change Of Plans

I heard the story of sisters who had planned a ‘sister’s getaway’.  They traveled several hundred miles to their destination and settled in.  The first morning they planned on taking a walk to the ocean to breathe in the salty air and dip their toes into the chilly water.  As they descended the steps, one of the sisters missed a step and injured her ankle.  

ALTERNATE PLANS

Instead of their morning walk they spent the morning in the emergency room, with X-rays and doctors.  While they were able to remain for the duration of the planned stay, everything changed.  Their morning walks to enjoy the area scenery was now morning talks on the porch, sitting in the soft breeze.  Instead of exploring a nearby state park, they explored their very different lives since they were children.  It wasn’t at all what they’d planned, but they formed a closer bond than either of them had imagined.  It became a time of growing relationship.

LIFE HAPPENS

I suspect we’ve all had times when plans just didn’t work out like we expected; a promotion we expected went to someone else, an ended relationship, or a dream that never came true.  One person in the earlier conversation admitted that she and her husband have had several trips where a detour seemed to imply disaster, but turned out to be a blessing!

DETOURS

I’m one of those odd people that doesn’t mind taking a detour when traveling, (especially when we’re on roads we’ve taken before) because it seems there is always beauty to be found in these previously unexplored areas.

Sudden changes, however, can throw a person’s plans totally upside down, when they aren’t temporary, but permanent like the loss of a loved one.  Life must continue, and it can be overwhelming.  

BEGINNING AGAIN

When I lost my husband eight months ago, we had just begun building a new home in another state many miles away from where we lived in Maryland.  This was to be our ‘dream’ home; our ‘forever’ home.  Since we’d started, this sudden change has left me with trying to navigate the ‘build’ with little or no experience!  

That said, God knew about Charles’ untimely death.  He knew I would be at this place.  He’s not left me alone.  In fact, He’s been incredibly amazing by putting people in my path who understand the process and can lead me forward.  

From my perspective this is a ‘massive project’ and I often feel overwhelmed.  But even with all the frustration and grief I’ve experienced, God’s got a plan!  I’ve got to trust God to use this whole thing for a bigger purpose—-and for some kind of good, even if it isn’t at all easy!

DIFFICULT TIMES

As we move through difficult times, and unexpected ‘detours’, there is often something God wants to teach us.  Those short scenic detours when traveling I can learn more about the community we are driving through and the detour seems harmless; in fact, usually enjoyable,

Large ones, like the death of a spouse, or other tragedy, it doesn’t seem so ‘positive’!  It’s difficult, overwhelming, sad, frightening, emotional and a host of other descriptive, unsettling words.  A body doesn’t know what to do with it…and maybe that’s part of it.  

LESSONS LEARNED

Maybe what God wants us to see is that trusting him in any situation is paramount.  That to get where he wants us to be, requires understanding how very much eH knows, and how little we do.  

We don’t know, but we keep trying.  Tears may still fall, but we can know with a loving, gentle God holding us, we will get through.  And hopefully, sooner, rather than later, learn the lessons he has for us, and see how He will use, even a ‘permanent detour’ for His good.

Photo Credit: Ocean

In Service For The Lord

A friend shares how, because of travel, she attended different worship services on a fairly regular basis.  While similar she noted differences. One was filled with members nearly every Sunday morning to capacity with the occasional need to pull out more chairs to accommodate everyone.  Another had the same capacity, but was usually thrilled, if it was half full.

THE PARETO PRINCIPLE

The second difference however, was even more striking.  There’s a saying called the ‘Pareto Principle’, that in most cases, only 20% of the attendees do 80% of the work.  In the church where attendance fills only half the church, this rule seemed to be accurate.  

In the other church, it was quite different.  It was reversed.  The larger percentage fell clearly in the ‘involvement and work’ area, with only the smaller 20% being inactive.  "It’s so rewarding to see this occur," she noted—"and totally motivating!"

In a space where workers are few, it’s easy to become frustrated and burned out with all the effort it takes to even get a few things accomplished. Because of the lack of ‘workers’, ministries are few and it becomes a vicious cycle of not only enough people to do the work, but also fewer ministries!

UNDER-APPRECIATED

A friend of mine, from another congregation, was sharing how she felt under-appreciated and unsupported in this environment.  Bitterness was edging its way into her mindset and attitude.  Then one day she received a message via a card thanking her for her efforts and willingness to serve.  She was overjoyed and was able to continue working with gratitude, that she wasn’t being taken for granted.

IN SERVICE FOR THE LORD

The truth is, however, we are all called to ‘be in service’ for the Lord.  Our willingness is much more valuable than our qualifications!  When we say yes to God, we become empowered through the HolySpirit to use our natural abilities for his service!

It’s true, also, that we all have lives outside the church.  It may be sports, work, or other interests which keeps us not only from attending services regularly, but from being involved.  God’s Word tells us where our “heart is, is where our ‘treasure’ is also”(Matthew 6:21)  If other things take priority, what does that say about our relationship with God?  Is he first ..or..somewhere down the list?

MANY WAYS TO SERVE

Don’t misunderstand, there are plenty of ways to serve.  Many are within the confines of the congregational ministries.  And if there isn’t a ministry you want to be a part of, there’s always the option of creating (and thus leading) a ministry which can blend your gifts and pleasure with others!

DOING THE 'LITTLE THINGS'

There are also, what seem like ‘small things’ you can do which require little effort but can have a dynamic impact.  The card mentioned earlier from someone in my friend’s congregation, made a huge impact her.  

Cards of appreciation are hugely important!  Use your passions to encourage!  Make yourself available to serve others.  Bake, organize, fix things, make phone calls, send emails, use sewing, crafting, music, pray…anything that makes you happy share with someone else for God’s glory, and joyful obedience.  Any service done in love matters.

MAKE AN IMPACT

As you serve, others will see (or feel) the impact and also be encouraged to serve.  This can have huge implications to an entire congregation!  What a gift it would be to see your act of service grow into seeing the ‘ripple effect’ of 80% of those serving in your place of worship!

Giving kindness, loving with your whole heart, caring about other people and sharing yourself in ways you are gifted, are gifts to God.  When you do this  for Jesus, you are raising God to the top of your list…right where He belongs! 

Photo Credit: Food Donations

Road To Recovery

       I heard the story of a young woman who had to 'close up' where she was working one evening, and per instructions by administration, needed to be escorted by another employee to her car, given the distance to the parking garage and her age.  On this particular evening there was a single male employee who was also finishing his duties, who was asked to walk her, to her car.  He obliged.  But upon arrival took advantage of the situation and ‘violated’ her.

The pain of this incident looms large in front of her.  She feels guilty for not having fought harder, for not having someone else escort her--even though there was no one else,-- for working there, and the list goes on.  This was not her fault—at all!  But she must learn how to deal with her anxiety, guilt, shame, and everything that goes with it, along with trying to forgive.  

FORGIVENESS IS HARD

Forgiveness comes hard for something as personal as this and the desire to forgive can be over-ridden by pain.  We all experience incidents in our lives where we wonder if we’ll ever be able to ‘live without fear’ or be able to trust anyone again.

Hate and anger can be so consuming, it can monopolize our thoughts and in some cases cause us to behave irrationally.  Sometimes we’ll want to hurt the person who has hurt us and sometimes we reach a point where we either want to end it ourselves, or ask God to just take us home.

FORGIVENESS BRINGS FREEDOM

Freedom from this kind of pain can only come through forgiveness.  It’s not an emotion, it's a process, and it can only come by choice.  We have to make the decision to surrender our pain and anger to God, and choose to forgive the person who has hurt us so deeply.

God’s Word further tells us we need to forgive seventy times seven times.  I suppose you could keep count of how many times you’ve forgiven someone, but it’s more likely God is telling us that we have to forgive over and over again.  

MEMORIES

      The pain may ease for a while, and then something triggers the memory and we’re feeling swallowed up again, until we choose to forgive again.  How long does that take?  That’s anyone’s guess.  And most likely, depending on the circumstance it could be a lifetime.

JESUS IS THE ULTIMATE FORGIVER

The best example of this is Jesus forgiving the world by dying on the cross.  He forgave us before we were even born!  Further his sacrificial death wasn’t for a single sin, it was for every sin you or I commit from the time we were born until our deaths!  I can’t even imagine how many times He’s had to forgive me for sins I’ve done over my lifetime— even since becoming a follower of Him!

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the hurt will stop.  It’s likely it will over time, but it could take a long time!   But by choosing God’s grace, while he heals your heart, the healing will be more profound.  Healing happens in layers, just as forgiveness does.  It’s not instantaneous.  We are human and emotions run deep.

RECOVERY DOES COME

Recovery will come, but it’s a journey which we might have to take, time and again, before we finally reach the end…and that said, sometimes,  a lifetime isn't long enough.  But forgiveness will dull the pain and ultimately grant us inner peace, instead of  allowing our negative emotions to eat us alive, and leaving us creatures of bitterness, anger and rage.

Photo Credit:  Inner Peace

That's My King

  For those who follow me, know I’ve been going through a really difficult time after the loss of my husband.  While it’s been remarkably difficult, God has gotten me through.  Along with my family and very special friends, He’s placed people in my path who have helped navigate the sometimes convoluted paths it takes to get all the ‘things’ done which are required after a spouse passes away.

GOD’S TIMING

But what amazes me is how his timing for things is beyond perfect.  I’ve been able to look back and see His thumbprint on being where I am today.  And even in the recent weeks has opened doors that perhaps even a month ago, I would not have been able to handle.   To all that I say, "that’s my King!"

There are those who would argue that they ‘need to be in control’ and allowing God to order things is too difficult.  I respond with, during my months of grief my heart, mind and soul were so uprooted, I could barely control my functionings some days.  I had no energy, and even doing those things I loved to do, brought only limited joy.  

GIVING UP CONTROL

By allowing God to control my life, I was (and still am) able to grieve, knowing that God knew (and knows) when I am ready to respond positively to a specific person placed in my path, that continues the healing process and opens doors to my future!

God’s reign in my life means security.  His ability to ‘know all things’ brings peace, not pressure!  I can trust in his authority.  There is no way I could have personally created the totally unrelated events which have happened over the last few weeks.  Those who I have talked with don’t even know the other, yet they are melded together to help me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.  "That’s my King!"

CHRIST IS KING

Some people take issue with calling Christ a King and reject that one day he will be ruler on this earth after his return.  Our world is spiraling in ways I could not even fathom, yet here we are.  It’s, in many regards, like reading the book of Revelation!  

GOD IS IN CONTROL

Yet, despite all the turmoil, I know that God is in control!  He’s steadfast and strong; powerful and merciful; he’s the Supreme Being, unparalleled and unprecedented.  His love knows no bounds, he supplies all our needs; he’s compassionate and trustworthy and he’s the Savior of the World!  Only he can forgive our sins!   

The list of all the wonderful things God can do and is lengthy!  But my God can change the hearts and lives of people who will believe in him.  It’s not a matter of culture, creed, skin color, political views, circumstances, where you came from or where you think you are.  God loves each of us and wants a relationship with us—-  Let me repeat.. with EACH of us.  

GOD ALWAYS STANDS WITH US

Who besides God can do that?  We probably all have a long list of friends. Yet most of us could count on one hand our closest friends.  The remaining on our list know who we are, maybe even attend social events together, but do they know you when times are hard?  Do they stand by you when things go awry?  Will they hold you when you cry and are broken?

God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit does all this and more!  "That’s my King!"

Photo Credit: That's My King

What If Resting Is Worship?

  I’m busy!  I have a long list of things I try to accomplish every day, and then add quilting or other activities to my nights.  I don’t remember ever not being this way.  Even when my children were young, and we had the tv on, I’d find myself working on something whenever I sat down.  This has become my normal.

Because of the amount of quilts I’ve made along with my writing, people have asked me, ‘Do you ever sleep?’  And one of my son-in-law’s, just shakes his head, has commented more than once that ‘She never sits down’ or ‘She never stops!’ —which, of course, isn’t true, but I will say, that is hard for me.

RESTING IS HARD

Resting is hard for me.  And to make matters worse, when I do finally feel compelled to take a rare nap, it’s usually ten to fifteen minutes.  No alarm, I just wake up, feel refreshed and can keep going until bedtime!  But am I actually resting?

       I admit, I often feel ‘guilty’ when I stop.  Usually something will cross my mind that needs doing, and I’m up at it again!  I usually feel like I’m totally unproductive when I stop. And then there’s that scripture in Proverbs that talks about idle hands.  But I wonder, am I missing something?

CLIMBING THE CORPORATE LADDER

We live in a fast paced, achievement driven culture!  It’s all about working till you drop, climbing the almighty ladder, making the most of every day and especially earn as much money as possible, because wealth is power.

Truth is, I honestly don’t agree with that! I have no ladder to climb and earning a boat load of money is not my thing—I don’t want power!  I’d rather be a minimalist.  That said, I’m not an expert on minimalism, and I have to work really hard at that, but that’s my dream.  But that doesn’t seem to affect my ‘need’ to stay busy or go, go, go, get plenty done, because that’s what we’re supposed to do!  Right?? But... is it because subconsciously I feel my productivity measures my worth?

Often, I’m tired.  I’m tired of being tired.  My body seems to go alright, —at least until I hit the pillow at night—but my mind gets tired and maybe even my spirit.  Could my soul be tired too?  And sometimes as tired as I am, I can’t sleep. I drop off almost immediately, but after 10-15 minutes (like my rare nap times in the afternoon), I wake up and my mind, weary as it is, just doesn’t shut down.  It’s like it’s on overdrive going absolutely nowhere--yet it's all over the place.  There are no cut and dry answers to whatever I’m thinking about and that makes me even more tired!

COMMANDED TO REST

God commands us to rest.  It’s part of the 10 Commandments, twice! —- The first
time God gave Moses the Commandments, he said in Exodus 20:8 to remember the Sabbath.  The second time God gave Moses the 10 Commandments in Deuteronomy 5:12, he said to “observe the Sabbath....as I have commanded you.”    And when I look further in the NT, Jesus withdrew from the crowds and went to rest…with the Father.  As a follower of him, shouldn’t I ‘follow’ his example?  Even Hebrews 4:9-10 tells us the Sabbath is for rest.

COULD REST BE WORSHIP?

What if I looked at rest as worship?  Could it be that the absence of work is the presence of faith?  Might I be saying, when I continue to push forward and neglect to rest, ‘Lord, I don’t trust you to handle everything I need to do?’ (Is. 30:15)   Might that list that keeps nagging me be some deep seated desire that I need to be in control?  

Jesus invites us in Matthew 11:28 to come to him, all who are weary.  I’m weary.  Are you?  I don’t rest well.  Do you?  Is it time we changed perspective on the idea of rest?  

Biblically, rest is not being ‘lazy’ or ‘non-productive’.  In fact I would suggest that we would be very productive in our faith walk if we stopped… and spent time, in prayer, listening to Gospel music, reading His Word, enjoying his creation in a quiet walk outdoors, or just sitting on the porch swing, resting in His presence.  What a gift that would be!

Photo Credit: Resting In God 

Photo Credit: Unproductive