God Changed Me

 

  I’ve been a quilter for a very long time and have made many.  Each is unique and I enjoy the process as much as the completed project.  I had an experience a few years ago, however that completely unraveled me —and inspired me at the same time!

A good friend of mine was going through a terrible time and with God’s nudging I decided to make her a ‘personal sized’ quilt and pray for her while I worked on it.  

      As I cut out the material for the backing, I realized I didn’t have enough of the same fabric to finish it.   So I improvised with another print and arranged a design with those specific blocks which I liked.  I even took a picture of the back so I could put the quilt together just as I planned.

  I lap quilt--so each block is quilted before I put all of it it together  As I'm finishing, I realize I've sewn it wrong--- on the last row the 'extra' colored piece was in the wrong place.  

I was mortified!  I turned the quilt over, believing I’d totally ruined it, and burst into tears.... My mistake was now a cross!  That was NOT me!  That was totally a God thing and I still have no clue how I ‘messed it up’!  All quilts since then, that I've given away, have a purposeful cross on the back, intentionally placed, by design!

We all make plans, whether they are for a trip we want to take, a list of things we want to accomplish, even weekly plans just to keep track of where we are supposed to be on any given day.

When things go wrong, even having to take a detour while driving, we can become frustrated because our plans had to change.  Sometimes it’s just about the 'time it takes' to go another direction, --even though the destination is the same.

I admit, I love detours.  I call it ‘taking the scenic route.’  

We often think the interruption of our well laid out plan is the problem. Sometimes while driving we miss our road and have to keep going because there isn’t a convenient ‘turn around’.  

        We don't know why we missed that turn or what lies ahead on the alternate route. Perhaps we’ll see something we would otherwise have missed. Perhaps we'll have an unexpected opportunity to recognize God at work. Or perhaps we'll simply have to adjust and keep going!

Other interruptions bring people into our path. We’re frustrated because we are running late, and then it seems like we get behind every slow driver on the planet just to get to where we’re supposed to be. And to our surprise we have the opportunity to see and talk with someone we haven’t been around for years!  Or perhaps we meet a stranger who needed a dose of kindness we were able to give.

We may never know why some of these interruptions happen, but we can remain open to the possibilities they bring.

Despite our well laid out plans, God sometimes leads us in a direction we never intended to go.

I was trying to solve a problem with my quilt. I was short of the required fabric, so I carefully planned a way to make up for it. But God did something that I never intended to happen.  What I thought was a mistake became a lasting reminder of the Cross.  It not only changed the quilt, but it changed me!

God reminded me that He cares about all areas of our lives— even the every day ones.  I’m a quilter….who recognizes that He is present in every single quilt I create.  He cares about the person who will receive it, and also me.  What a gift!

Things That Don't Make The MIT List

 

  I have L.O.N.G. to-do list….even a spreadsheet on my computer called ‘MIT List’—(Most Important Tasks).  It has everything imaginable that I could do, from writing and studying to cleaning and sewing and what seems like numerous other sub-categories.  Some days I look at the list and think ‘oh my goodness which ones today’?  But that said, I also have another list on my ‘calendar’ that usually means these are the ones most pressing!

WHAT I’VE NOT ACCOMPLISHED!

These lists aren’t necessarily what I want to do on any given day, and there are outside activities that aren’t even considered when I create my ‘day to day’ list.  Sometimes I wonder why I even bother…especially when I look at what I’ve not accomplished at the end of the week.

FEELING GUILTY

Honestly, I’d love to accomplish everything I’ve set out to do, and sincerely believe if I keep working at it, I can squeeze just one more thing in.  Then I feel guilty when it doesn’t happen.  Am I the only one who finds this happening?

Our world consistently bombards us with an almost fanatical push to get things ‘done’—-and when you fail…..  you are…well…at some level, a failure.  It’s a guilt tactic, that honestly works and makes us believe the lie that productivity is why were created.

WHERE IS THE LINE?

I wonder though… where is the line between productivity and productivity for the Kingdom?  What are we missing?

SITTING WITH JESUS

I’m reminded of Mary and Martha in the Bible and Jesus told Martha that Mary was doing the best thing by sitting with Jesus.  She chose to be with Jesus rather than doing something for Jesus.  Her intentions were totally good, yet they weren’t the ‘best.’

Do we do that?  Do we work so hard to do something for someone…. even God —-that we miss the most important part—-  just being with them? We all need human closeness and companionship.  Our world has gotten so caught up in technology, some have even lost the ability to connect face to face with another human being!

STEALING THE ‘LIFE’ OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS

We have instant communication possibilities with people across the globe, yet is the ‘communication’ missing something important?  Is it stealing the ‘life’ out of relationships?

There are people all around us who are withdrawing into their worlds of the emails and texts or other forms of communication and are starving to death for emotional connection and probably don’t even realize it.

Relationships are failing….and we wonder why.  Relationships take effort; an effort with an emotional commitment, to grow.  When we stop communicating with our spouse, our kids, or friends, the ‘warmth’ and intimacy of interaction becomes less and less, much like a fire that needs stoking with more wood just to keep it going!  You stop feeding that fire and it eventually will grow cold because it has run out of the ‘energy’ just to keep it going.

WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT?

There comes a time when we need to look at our ‘lists’ and decide to choose what is important.  Sure, that floor is gonna need sweeping, laundry washed and other domestic duties done.  Our workplace is going to require our attention and commitment to do our job well, and other activities will be calling for our attention.  

GOOD, BETTER, BEST

But ultimately we have to decide what is ‘good, better, and best’.   To have a relationship with humans in our physical lives, and God in our spiritual lives, we must make a choice.  Are we going to focus on the world of ‘to-do’ or be like Mary when she chose to be with Jesus and not just ‘do’ for Him? 

Photo Credit:  To-Do List

What Really Matters

 

  Sometimes I have a horrible time with priorities.  Oh, I know what they are, and probably at some level even know how to divide them up, but there are so many choices, that when I look at my to-do list, for each option there are for five sub-options!  

MULTI-TASKING

The problem is everything seems equally important.  Our culture lives in a way that insists we must get as much done in a given short amount of time, as possible.  If you can’t multitask between half a dozen things at once, you aren’t being productive.  Inevitably in this category, I fail miserably.  My mind is narrow tracked, and I rarely can do two things at once, much less three to five, or more!

My mind even rails against listening to music and concentrating!  Writing is nearly a lost cause if I have music on, unless….  it’s music without any words.  My mind will pick up on any words and completely convolute what I’m trying to think…and the sentence that is typed (or read) isn’t nearly what it should be!

MISSING MOMENTS WITH GOD

I think sometimes we are so intense on tending to the many things we are working on, we totally miss the immediate!  We can’t see the person near us who is speaking, we can barely keep a decent conversation going with sincere dialogue, or even respond to the child who needs just five minutes of our time.  But even more than these, we miss quiet moments with God.  

As we do all our multitasking, what we become frustrated with, and how we handle it comes right out of our mouth!  We’ve opened the door to let satan stick his foot in.  We haven’t even noticed, because we’re frustrated with what we’re doing.  As time inches on, another project sets us in a fit.  We aren’t able to concentrate, and that frustration level, just keeps building ---and satan is giddy with glee. 

SENDING SIGNALS

The Holy Spirit within us, keeps sending us signals to slow down and rethink how we are doing things and how riled we are getting.   But in our aggravation, we again don’t notice.  Meanwhile our blood pressure has climbed, our minds are spinning with alternate ways to accomplish the tasks screaming at us to get done, until we hit the point where we want to just throw everything in front of us!

We arrive home from work and somehow things aren’t any better.  Dinner still needs to be cooked, one of the kids is sick, the car is acting up, another bill has arrived and we just what to have a melt down!

We hit our breaking point and say, ‘God I can’t handle all this! What in the world am I going to do?’  

FOCUSED ON ACCOMPLISHING

We become so focused on accomplishing, that we forget to live. We finally realize over time, we really need to have some kind of way to prioritize the work load, the bills, our social lives, and all that life demands of us…  So where to start?  

WHAT REALLY MATTERS?

That’s when the question hits!  'What really matters!?'  God has been trying to remind us we’ve lost focus on what is important!  Ultimately it’s our spiritual life.  God wants a relationship with us. He created us to talk with Him and he with us! Yet how often do we really s.t.o.p. and just communicate with the Father?  He made us like him for a reason!  He wants relationship, just like your spouse, children and friends!  

The biggest difference is, in a relationship with Christ we can find peace, which no one else can give, and answers to questions no one on the planet can answer like Him.  He’s a miracle worker, a healer and so many things that make living in this world possible.  Even when things are going ‘wonky’ we can know God is right there with us, because He is what really matters.

Photo Credit: Focus On What Matters 

In This Moment

          I sat down to write the other day and just couldn’t do it.  My brain was just mud!  I’d been working for the better part of a week and a half on a curriculum project that took an enormous amount of energy for the intense and tedious content.  My goal, however, was to get it finished.  It wasn’t a deadline a publisher gave me, or anyone else for that matter.  It was me.  I wanted it finished before I did anything else.

PRIORITIES

That said, it made me think about priorities!  After I finished the project, I looked at my list, that for the most part I’d ignored, and thought ‘Oh my goodness, now I have to catch up!  Where in the world am I going to start!?’

CHANGE OF PLANS

The truth is, I closed my computer and basically said, ‘Nope!  It’s not happening. I need some down time.  I’ll begin again tomorrow.’  So I picked up my quilting and just worked on something that calms me and gives me enormous peace!   

Not surprisingly, I was able to come back to the computer with focus and had more ‘fun’ working than I had in days!  It was like I’d been on vacation and felt refreshed when I was back to ‘work’ with my normal schedule.

OVERWHELMED

I wonder, have you ever been so overwhelmed with life you just feel like closing the door on life and walking the other direction?  We have these lists that are 20 items long—or longer —and need to decide what to do next!  Sometimes the list has life altering decisions.  Which bills do we pay this month or/and if I do, can I at least get groceries?  Do I make the Doctor appointment or let it ‘slide’?

TOO MANY DECISIONS

Sometimes, they aren’t life altering, but still important.  There’s another meeting to attend, but someone is sick and you can’t attend, even though you’re the president!  Or volunteers are needed, but the house hasn’t been touched in two weeks.  Or even your soul feels so dry you haven’t felt the Spirit in weeks —or even months, and you can’t see God working in your life. You’re frustrated and just feel empty.

It’s so hard to prioritize everything, so you feel like you need to have a plan! But the plan is pulling you every way at once.  But priorities aren’t necessarily about deciding what’s important. It’s not that each item on the list doesn’t need attention. But not everything can be first.  It’s about deciding what is most important…in this moment!

GOD IS ALWAYS FIRST

As believers we’ve learned to put God first. After that it’s usually family, work, and then everything else—even if it doesn’t always work like that!  Life isn’t always that neat.  

God certainly needs to be first.  This is where we will receive the guidance, strength, and direction we need to follow.

Our families are a huge priority and when one is sick, or in any other way requiring immediate attention, it seems everything else goes on hold.

Our workplace is designed that we also give it priority.  This is the means we have for paying our bills and even seeing to the needs of our families.  But even in this arena, there are days when things go askew.

ADDING REST TO THE EQUATION

And when we add the rest we need, to just function, that too, can be an added element into how we choose our priorities.  I think this is where I was the other day.  I needed rest.  Once I my body and brain caught up, I was again able to look at my priorities and put them in the order in which God is pleased.  

God still remained first.  He is the strength of my day.  God provides for rest in his plan for humanity.  And I’m learning that sometimes trusting Him means putting down the list for a little while, taking a breath, and allowing myself to rest.

Then  with renewed confidence and energy, I can pick it back up—work on that list…one thing at a time—and trust Him with what remains.

Photo Credit: Needing Rest

Making Room

      I’ve heard my sister-in-law say many times over the past years, “I’m downsizing!  I’m not leaving all the stuff behind for my kids to go through the way Mom did!”  

I absolutely adored my mother-in-law.  She was one of the kindest people I knew.  But she did ‘keep things’ …. a lot of things!  As a family, we’ve been years going through all the things she’d kept, and she’s been gone a long time.

HOLDING ON 

My Charles was a lot like his mom in this way….keeping stuff.  “We might need this someday".  Or, "You never know when something like this might come in handy,” he’d say. Charles is gone now and it’s up to me to go through all the ‘stuff’ we’ve collected over 51 years!  It’s a lot!

WHAT TO DO WITH EVERYTHING

It’s hard though.  First when I look at the different rooms, I sigh and think, ‘Where in the world do I even start?' or 'There’s so much history in all this.’

Sometimes looking at a gift from a child or grandchild, or even one given by my mother-in-law all those years ago, completely stunts progress.  Some days it makes me sad, because while it was a nice gift when I received it, I haven’t used it in years.  Still….. it was a gift.

Other times it’s about something we paid good money for!  Or even ‘What if the kids want this later?’ But trying to put ‘that’ object in a box to give to GoodWill, or another place, can cause my heart to break.

I CAN'T KEEP IT ALL

As the days pass, though, I find myself feeling a lot like my sister-in-law.  I can’t possibly keep all this ‘stuff’—- and the truth is, I don’t want to.  Nor do I want to leave it for the kids to have to go through.  I’ve had to do that…and I don’t wish that on someone else!  It’s tedious and just not a good thing to have to do!

But I also find myself saying, ‘I don’t want to spend the rest of my life taking care of all this stuff.’  I’ve learned, ever so slowly, that getting rid of an object doesn’t erase the memory attached to it.  The ‘gift-er’ of the item will always hold a special place in my heart because of the love they gave, not an object.

CLUTTER IN MY HEART

As I ponder these things, I think about the parallel with what I do with the clutter I sometimes have in my heart.  As I pull out the broom and begin sweeping, I can see dust particles of fear, regrets, guilt, old expectations and even things God has asked me to release.  It causes me to ask myself, ‘why am I holding onto these ‘things’ when they’re keeping my heart from healing and growing?'

GIVING AND TAKING BACK

There are times when I’ve given something to God and then find myself reaching out to take it back.  I get all wrapped up in the guilt of something that happened in my youth, with my children, or friends that probably upsets me a lot more than it ever did them, but still ‘stuff’ I remember, —those memories that haunt, even if not intentional!

CAN'T GO BACK

You can’t go back in time and change what’s happened.  I consider my parenthood.  All parents make mistakes…or at least wish they’d handled a situation differently, which might have produced a better outcome.  But there is no going back.  All we can do now is move forward.  

And the best way to move forward is to accept what happened and grow from it, accept forgiveness, even if it’s forgiving ourselves!  

KEEP THE BROOM MOVING

The broom needs to keep sweeping.  ’Clutter’ happens. Fear creeps in, regret settles over, guilt gathers in the corners, all collecting dust!  We don’t even realize it, until we’re tripping over it, just like clutter in our homes.  It’s subtle  Then we notice --and feel like hitting the panic button!

Maybe that’s what I’m learning as I work through my 51 years of ‘stuff’.  Some things need to stay.  Other things need to go!    Our hearts are much the same.  There are things I need to remember, other things I need to learn from, maybe I need to forgive….and some things I need to just release to Jesus!

So I’ll keep sweeping and accept the God’s grace.  He’s a God who forgives …and doesn’t remind me of my failures!  And He’s right there with me as I work through the clutter —-both in my heart and my home.

Photo Credit: Broom