A Special Friendship

       I have a dear cousin who is just a day younger than I.  She’s a beautiful person with a sunny disposition.  When we were kids, we were best friends.  We planned our lives as adults including sharing an apartment when we stepped out into the world on our own as well as, the kinds of lives we would lead; even probably the kind of husbands we expected and number of children we would have!  Our friendship held for many years, despite the miles that were often between us.  We both grew up however, and sadly, grew apart.  I don’t know the reason, it just happened and honestly, this makes me sad.  But, I can look back on those memories and smile because it warms my heart. 

       As an adult, I have had many different friends and find often, that each is special in their own way.  It isn’t like when I was a child where I had one friend, my cousin, with whom I confided everything.  I now have many friends but find I share different heart information with different friends, although my closest friends, like most, are few in number.

       Jonathan and David had a very special friendship.  It must have been amazing to know they shared the common bond of love and friendship to the point of making a covenant not only between themselves, but also with God; and knowing the relationship would not change despite circumstances.  It makes me wonder if we consider God in our friendships.  Although my dearest friends are church family, I don’t think I’ve ever considered them in a “covenant with God,” although I regularly thank God for them.

       I guess the real question is how do we choose our friends?  What creates the bond of love and friendship?  Why is there such a connection with one friend on one level and a connection with another friend on another?   How much am I willing to give up for my friend?  Will my friendship hold under all circumstances?  My friendship with my cousin changed over the years.  We grew apart, in different directions.  Although I still hold her dear in my heart, we don’t have the relationship we once did. 

       Relationships take effort and if the effort is sluggish on either side, the relationship suffers.  God’s word says Jonathan and David were devoted to each other.  They knew the bond would hold no matter what they faced, because it included a covenant with God.  What an inspiring thought and beautiful picture this paints of what a friendship really is.

1 Samuel 23:16-18  And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this." The two of them made a covenant before the LORD.

Known By The Company You Keep

A friend of mine tells stories of when he was sixteen or seventeen years old and how all the friends (including his brother) he ran around with, were older than he.  They would be out at night riding around and the older fellas would do things my friend couldn’t because he was younger.  Because of the crowd he ran with, he had the same reputation they did, which for the time period wasn’t bad, or illegal, but certainly not the most upstanding youth in the community!  He didn’t mind, though, it gave him a feeling of fitting in even though he didn’t participate in the “tom-foolery!”  And in retrospect, back in the 50’s "running around" was a lot different than it is now.

 I remember when our kids were growing up, my husband, Charles repeatedly told them, “Who you are with and what you do, is a direct reflection of me!”  We wanted our kids, like all parents, to be honest, God-fearing young people and when we knew they were spending time with their peers who didn’t necessarily fit that criteria, we worried! None of our kids got into any trouble, but it made us wonder as parents, if we (or they!) were on the right track! 

Scripture tells us that who our friends are is a reflection of our character.  If we tend to socialize with those who are less than honest and have low morals, then our character is tainted because of association.  That’s not to say a person can’t be seen with honest, moral people and still have a less than desired character.  But usually, the company you keep is where you are most comfortable.

The world offers a huge host of activities labeled as joyful, interesting, fulfilling and fun, from gambling and substance abuse to violent video games and pornography.  Satan has managed to skew the minds of many so that acceptance of bad and evil behavior is in some cases even condoned. 

I am grateful God has given us a wonderful church family with which to enjoy social events and opportunities of fellowship!  It’s encouraging, as a Christian to take pleasure in activities that are completely enjoyable, moral and godly!  When I consider the options out there and the opposite of what I find in my church family, I know I have much for which to be thankful!

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.             Proverbs 13:20

Being A Friend

       I am a person who tends to wear my emotions on my face.  When I am sad it is easy to tell, much the same as when I am happy.  This one particular day I was wearing sadness and my friend, without saying a word hugged me and said a prayer without even knowing what was on my heart. I was so grateful for her understanding and compassion without knowing any details.

       Satan is hard at work in families.  This can be seen all around us as divorce rates climb.  There is constant prayer for families, even in our congregation as Satan sets out to destroy relationships whether it be through teens, siblings, or husbands and wives.

 Teenagers want to spread their wings and fly and sometimes to areas where only destruction can find them.  Siblings, from the time they are tiny, squabble.  Once they are adults, it is expected they can see past their differences and become friends.  This isn’t  always the case and strife between them can create a chasm time can’t seem to repair. 

       Husbands and wives are also at risk to Satan’s evil attacks.  He will cause them to pick and fuss over things that usually are so minimal in urgency or importance they eventually forget why they fell in love with their mate in the first place.  The bitterness becomes so great they can’t see past their own pain to even begin the forgiveness process.

       My friend who saw my sadness, hugged me, then followed it with a prayer is a great example of how we each should be.  We need not know the details of another's pain or sadness, we just need to know they are hurting.  Sometimes not knowing specifics is a blessing since you can't share with someone else information you don't know and therefore make what could be a small problem even worse. 

       Friends are a treasure whether they come in like gender, husbands and wives, siblings or any combination of the above.   And it’s a very lonely place when we don’t have someone to share our joys or hurts with.   Just as God accepts us as his friends, so should we accept each other in the attitude of love and acceptance. 

       I hope this week, you will take a moment and really see your friend (or friends!).  See if they need a hug of encouragement and a prayer or a hug of happiness!  Then share yourself in the spirit of friendship!

He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.  Proverbs 17:9

Embracing Friendship

             I have some amazing friends.  I am overwhelmed at the kindness I am shown, the unconditional acceptance that I am just who am I am and that’s okay or the sadness they feel when I am sad, yet the delight they express when I am joyful.  It is easy to embrace this kind of friendship.

As I continue to consider the idea of friendship, I also recognize through scripture, that we are friends of God.  It made me ask the question: what qualities do we, as humans, require to consider a person our friend?  While I appreciate that I have many friends, I realize there are different levels of friendship.  There are those people who are really little more than an acquaintance.   I know these persons but have only talked with them a time or two.  Then there are friends because we are in the same social circles and have similar interests.  We usually have no problem chatting on a variety of subjects.  Still friendship can be much deeper than this.  This relationship is with those whom personal information is exchanged that not everyone else may know about. 

Still there is another level of friendship where dreams, private thoughts, perhaps problems, and other personal information is shared.  Sometimes this relationship is between husband and wife.  Sometimes however, it can be shared between other friends.  I've found that as a woman  there are times when you just need to share with another female because sometimes the masculine gender just doesn't understand!

 That being said, I know I can tell God anything that is on my heart and know that he understands.  What's more, unlike any of my other friends, even though they can offer valuable advice, they can't fix my problem and may not totally understand my issue even though they are completely supportive. God has the unique ability to solve my problem if I am open to his voice.

            So what makes a friend?  Someone who accepts you just as you are; trusts you to do the same thing for them; hold a confidence without being judgmental; offers prayers when needed; shares your pain and your joy, and willing to cry with you or laugh depending on the situation.  Sometimes it means just sitting and listening.  On occasion it's taking a responsibility to ease a burden.  There are probably as many things that define a friend as there are friends.

So to be considered a friend of God is a bit overwhelming when you consider that God is God!  I take great pleasure in sharing my thoughts with a God who knows me better than I know myself.  He completely understands me.  Isn’t that what we all want?  Don’t we all want to be heard and understood?  God can do this and is there to meet my needs, albeit in his own time.  There’s just something exquisitely comforting knowing that like Abraham, I can be friends with God!  What a wonder!

And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend.  James 2:23