That's My King

  For those who follow me, know I’ve been going through a really difficult time after the loss of my husband.  While it’s been remarkably difficult, God has gotten me through.  Along with my family and very special friends, He’s placed people in my path who have helped navigate the sometimes convoluted paths it takes to get all the ‘things’ done which are required after a spouse passes away.

GOD’S TIMING

But what amazes me is how his timing for things is beyond perfect.  I’ve been able to look back and see His thumbprint on being where I am today.  And even in the recent weeks has opened doors that perhaps even a month ago, I would not have been able to handle.   To all that I say, "that’s my King!"

There are those who would argue that they ‘need to be in control’ and allowing God to order things is too difficult.  I respond with, during my months of grief my heart, mind and soul were so uprooted, I could barely control my functionings some days.  I had no energy, and even doing those things I loved to do, brought only limited joy.  

GIVING UP CONTROL

By allowing God to control my life, I was (and still am) able to grieve, knowing that God knew (and knows) when I am ready to respond positively to a specific person placed in my path, that continues the healing process and opens doors to my future!

God’s reign in my life means security.  His ability to ‘know all things’ brings peace, not pressure!  I can trust in his authority.  There is no way I could have personally created the totally unrelated events which have happened over the last few weeks.  Those who I have talked with don’t even know the other, yet they are melded together to help me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.  "That’s my King!"

CHRIST IS KING

Some people take issue with calling Christ a King and reject that one day he will be ruler on this earth after his return.  Our world is spiraling in ways I could not even fathom, yet here we are.  It’s, in many regards, like reading the book of Revelation!  

GOD IS IN CONTROL

Yet, despite all the turmoil, I know that God is in control!  He’s steadfast and strong; powerful and merciful; he’s the Supreme Being, unparalleled and unprecedented.  His love knows no bounds, he supplies all our needs; he’s compassionate and trustworthy and he’s the Savior of the World!  Only he can forgive our sins!   

The list of all the wonderful things God can do and is lengthy!  But my God can change the hearts and lives of people who will believe in him.  It’s not a matter of culture, creed, skin color, political views, circumstances, where you came from or where you think you are.  God loves each of us and wants a relationship with us—-  Let me repeat.. with EACH of us.  

GOD ALWAYS STANDS WITH US

Who besides God can do that?  We probably all have a long list of friends. Yet most of us could count on one hand our closest friends.  The remaining on our list know who we are, maybe even attend social events together, but do they know you when times are hard?  Do they stand by you when things go awry?  Will they hold you when you cry and are broken?

God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit does all this and more!  "That’s my King!"

Photo Credit: That's My King

What If Resting Is Worship?

  I’m busy!  I have a long list of things I try to accomplish every day, and then add quilting or other activities to my nights.  I don’t remember ever not being this way.  Even when my children were young, and we had the tv on, I’d find myself working on something whenever I sat down.  This has become my normal.

Because of the amount of quilts I’ve made along with my writing, people have asked me, ‘Do you ever sleep?’  And one of my son-in-law’s, just shakes his head, has commented more than once that ‘She never sits down’ or ‘She never stops!’ —which, of course, isn’t true, but I will say, that is hard for me.

RESTING IS HARD

Resting is hard for me.  And to make matters worse, when I do finally feel compelled to take a rare nap, it’s usually ten to fifteen minutes.  No alarm, I just wake up, feel refreshed and can keep going until bedtime!  But am I actually resting?

       I admit, I often feel ‘guilty’ when I stop.  Usually something will cross my mind that needs doing, and I’m up at it again!  I usually feel like I’m totally unproductive when I stop. And then there’s that scripture in Proverbs that talks about idle hands.  But I wonder, am I missing something?

CLIMBING THE CORPORATE LADDER

We live in a fast paced, achievement driven culture!  It’s all about working till you drop, climbing the almighty ladder, making the most of every day and especially earn as much money as possible, because wealth is power.

Truth is, I honestly don’t agree with that! I have no ladder to climb and earning a boat load of money is not my thing—I don’t want power!  I’d rather be a minimalist.  That said, I’m not an expert on minimalism, and I have to work really hard at that, but that’s my dream.  But that doesn’t seem to affect my ‘need’ to stay busy or go, go, go, get plenty done, because that’s what we’re supposed to do!  Right?? But... is it because subconsciously I feel my productivity measures my worth?

Often, I’m tired.  I’m tired of being tired.  My body seems to go alright, —at least until I hit the pillow at night—but my mind gets tired and maybe even my spirit.  Could my soul be tired too?  And sometimes as tired as I am, I can’t sleep. I drop off almost immediately, but after 10-15 minutes (like my rare nap times in the afternoon), I wake up and my mind, weary as it is, just doesn’t shut down.  It’s like it’s on overdrive going absolutely nowhere--yet it's all over the place.  There are no cut and dry answers to whatever I’m thinking about and that makes me even more tired!

COMMANDED TO REST

God commands us to rest.  It’s part of the 10 Commandments, twice! —- The first
time God gave Moses the Commandments, he said in Exodus 20:8 to remember the Sabbath.  The second time God gave Moses the 10 Commandments in Deuteronomy 5:12, he said to “observe the Sabbath....as I have commanded you.”    And when I look further in the NT, Jesus withdrew from the crowds and went to rest…with the Father.  As a follower of him, shouldn’t I ‘follow’ his example?  Even Hebrews 4:9-10 tells us the Sabbath is for rest.

COULD REST BE WORSHIP?

What if I looked at rest as worship?  Could it be that the absence of work is the presence of faith?  Might I be saying, when I continue to push forward and neglect to rest, ‘Lord, I don’t trust you to handle everything I need to do?’ (Is. 30:15)   Might that list that keeps nagging me be some deep seated desire that I need to be in control?  

Jesus invites us in Matthew 11:28 to come to him, all who are weary.  I’m weary.  Are you?  I don’t rest well.  Do you?  Is it time we changed perspective on the idea of rest?  

Biblically, rest is not being ‘lazy’ or ‘non-productive’.  In fact I would suggest that we would be very productive in our faith walk if we stopped… and spent time, in prayer, listening to Gospel music, reading His Word, enjoying his creation in a quiet walk outdoors, or just sitting on the porch swing, resting in His presence.  What a gift that would be!

Photo Credit: Resting In God 

Photo Credit: Unproductive

When Words Fail, The Spirit Speaks

  I read a testimony recently about how a person within a congregation was going through a particular trial and when someone prayed, was specific enough in their prayer to request exactly what this person needed.  Even as tears filled her eyes, she was filled with gratitude and relief because she said if she’d even made the request during the sharing of concerns she’d have been unable to speak.

WE NEEDED PRAYER

Months ago my husband became ill.  Regardless, we traveled, since he felt better.  After we arrived, we didn’t make it to church and I had conversation with one of the Pastor’s at the church we attended, via text.  As the conversation continued, I asked him to call me.  My phone rang only moments later.

In a hushed tone, because I was fighting tears, said simply, “Scotty, I’m scared.  Charles is sick, but refuses to go to the doctor.”  He asked a couple questions followed with, “Can I pray with you?”   My response was “of course!”  

When he prayed he was very specific. Among other things, he asked God to ‘Let Charles be willing to go to the doctor, if he needs to go.’  After the conversation I literally felt a profound peace pour over me.  Checking on him, I asked him if he was ready to go to the doctor.  He paused and said, “Maybe”.  Then moments later said, “I’m afraid if I go, they’ll keep me.”   He, nor I, had any idea how prophetic his words were.

SOMETIMES PRAYING CAN BE HARD

Sometimes we hesitate to pray for someone because we don’t know what to pray for; we don’t ‘feel’ anything; we’re afraid of doing it ‘wrong’ or because we are so broken, we wonder if God is even listening.

Prayer isn’t about how we feel or about praying wrong.  God wants to hear our hearts.  When we are sincere in our prayers, the Holy Spirit can (and will) step in and pray for us.  Sometimes, silence with God in those moments of brokenness is the perfect starting point. 

Other times, prayers can begin with tears.  This is when our hearts are hurting and not sure what even to ask for.  The Holy Spirit comes to the rescue and intercedes on our behalf.  When we are feeling too weak to even express our emotions, the Spirit, when we surrender to Him, will speak ‘with groans that words cannot express according to God’s will.’  Romans 8:26-27 

PRAYER IS OUR LIFE-LINE

Our prayer life is our life-line to the Father.  He already knows us and knows what we need, before we ever ask.  But He’s about relationship!  He wants us to be in communication —(to literally talk with Him), and stay in close contact with him, just like you would our spouse, child or best friend.  

As humans, a relationship can only grow with others when there is conversation and ‘getting to know each other better.’  It’s no different with God.  While God is God…as humans we need to not only initiate, but continually nurture communication with him in order to know him better.  

As we grow in our faith, and draw ever closer, we can totally ‘feel’ his presence when we pray.  Perhaps not always, but it does happen.

HAVE CONVERSATION WITH GOD

We need to focus on whom we are speaking to and pray with our whole heart, telling him how we feel, whether broken, challenged, or completely happy!  He wants to hear our voice!  It grows relationship!

There are times when you are angry, or don’t understand something or have things that leave you undone!  That’s okay!  He still wants to hear from you!  And by all means when you are happy, grateful, or filled with excitement, tell him!  It’s likely it took God’s hand to make any and all of that happen!

Reach out in prayer today.  It doesn’t need to be eloquent, or pretty!  Give him praise for all that’s good, let him know you’re glad he’s God; confess ways you’re aware you’ve failed, and share your heart about your needs and desires.  Just talk to him.  Allow the Holy Spirit to enable your heart, mind and soul to pour out your thoughts, and then listen to hear Him speak.

Photo Credit: Prayer

When Our Lives Face Pruning

  Gardening  is such a rewarding  event.  It's so satisfying to see the plants pop out of the brown desolate ground into tiny plants and into full grown producing ones.  Some of the agricultural crops we’ve grown, include pumpkin, watermelon, and tomatoes, all of which grow on vines, as well as the grapes, along the edge of our driveway.

CONNECTED TO THE VINE

Jesus talked about being connected to him is like being connected to a vine.  In fact, he said, he is the ‘Vine’ and we all would have to deal with pruning—-or even being ‘pruned’.

Being ‘pruned’ can be unsettling.  The idea of any part of us being ‘cut away’ seems threatening and uncomfortable.  We may face an ‘identity crisis’ as our self-perceptions, roles or titles are stripped away while our ‘new’ identity is being formed.

IDENTIFIERS

As a new widow, this resonates with me since for 51 years, I was identified with being my husband’s wife.  It’s who I was.  Now, in some ways, I feel myself floundering as I discover who it is God wants me to be, or what he wants me to do.  I want to stay in His will, and as the layers of my old identity are being peeled away, I find myself in a brand new place.

This requires waiting without clear direction.  I feel like I am in an ‘in-between’ place while I cling to all that I was or even still am, while the new vision is coming forth.  God is teaching me the new formula for my life, and it can be scary.

   

The loss of stability and comfort from the years of ‘normalcy’ is now no longer in view.  Everything is different. Yet I can feel myself growing.  It seems daily I face my ‘first year of firsts’.  My heart races and I cry as fear and grieving override what seems like good sense.  Yet, I know God is still ‘growing’ me.

HIDDEN DEEP WITHIN

My pendulum swings of emotions leads to confusion, discouragement or even feeling very alone and forgotten.  But waiting is a part of growth.  There’s a lot of ‘hidden’ growth required and completed, even when we can’t see the fruit, as demonstrated by the tiny seed being placed in the ground in early spring.  Growth isn’t immediate.  It comes after the seed is ready underground!

While I am waiting for the ‘new growth’ to finally, not only sprout, but grow strong and steady, I must rely on God during the wind and storms that batter me about.  Sometimes the ‘challenges’ make me stumble and fall over, feeling limp and weak.  Then the sunshine comes out again and I can feel the warmth of the Father who perks me up and allows me to continue to grow. 

I know that I can lift my eyes up toward the heavens and live my life with the single life source of Jesus.   But, it takes resolve, trust, nurturing from friends, family, and other Believers, as well as, a steady diet of His Word and prayer.

STILL GROWING

The pruning process is almost never described as ‘enjoyable.’  It’s often tedious, scary, intimidating, and a place most people choose not to be.  But different seasons of life, are designed for different patterns, people, places and events that will direct our lives.

As Believers clinging to the life giving Vine, we can trust that God only wants what is best for us.  If we are patient and wait, and especially allow Him to do the pruning we need, we will have growth and maturity that will bring the rewards of good fruit, we all want to see.

Photo Credit: Growing on the vine

Fear Of Rejection--A Powerful Force

  Fear of rejection.  What a powerful force in our range of emotions. Rejection can keep us from being who we truly are, paralyze us to the point of hiding the truth about a situation we are in, or being afraid to participate in living life at all.

A lady I know well has a personality lending itself to being a ‘people pleaser’.  She’d go outside her home wearing the prettiest smile, and having the nicest demeanor, but was crying inside.  Her husband suffered from severe PTSD and it wasn’t pretty.  In his ‘moments’ she was his victim.  On many levels it could have been described as nothing less than abuse.  When she went to talk with her clergyman, he said, “You must be mistaken.  What makes you think…..?”  She was devastated.

Judgement flowed about her, loud and clear.  The response left her fearing she’d lost another part of herself.  Self-doubt radiated from her very being, leaving her wondering what to do next!

Many of us face rejection at some point in our lives.  Sometimes it starts when we are in elementary school because in some way we are different than our peers.  It may be dress, what we think, skin color, and even our faith.

We want connection, but once rejection begins, we lose all confidence in ourselves.  We hear the tiniest whisper, “You’re not good enough!” ;“You’ll never get it right.” ; or even “Why bother? Nobody cares what you think anyway.”  We become fearful of sharing who we really are, and begin avoiding relationships.  

So we try another tactic.  Regardless of who says what, we keep our thoughts private. We smile, nod, and just keeping hiding deeper and deeper within ourselves.  We become broken and reach a point where even our smile doesn’t reach our eyes.  Only those closest to us, can see that, and even if they mention it, we brush it off.

God’s Word tells a different story.  While it recognizes that fear is real, (it tells us 365 times to not fear!) it also tells us fear does not get the final word!  “God’s perfect love drives out fear.”  (1John 4:18) There is no rejection, resentment or resistance about who we are; no pretense; just His Perfect love!  

God isn’t looking for a filtered version of us, he already knows the real us!  He knows our doubts, failures, insecurity…and the truths others don’t know!  He reminds us -- ‘we are his!” (Ps. 100:3)

His love doesn’t need to be earned; we cannot be disqualified from it, and regardless of where we are in life, he will receive us right where we are.  Our circumstances do not define our identity in him.  

Rejection does not get to write our story.  He does!  We no longer need to hide, because we’ve been invited into God’s Light…to be healed and freed!  

Jesus experienced the greatest rejection ever, on the cross; and he knows just how that feels.  He even cried out, “My God, My God.  Why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15: 33-34) He was temporarily forsaken to die and reconcile us with God.  He knows shame, yet he had never sinned.  He gave all for a world who rejected him.

In Christ we have total acceptance; we are seen, and deeply loved.  It’s the kind of love that pushes out fear.  Through Him we have the courage to live authentically, love boldly, and engage in relationships without hiding the real person we are. 

Photo Credit: Rejection

When Your Discouraged From Waiting or Lack of Results

       

      Waiting is hard.  Whether we wait for answers to health questions when we go to the doctor, for enough money to pay off our bills, answers to family problems, or even for the birth of a baby (and we know it will happen in about nine months), or a hundred other reasons, we wait!  And it’s hard.

We try to be productive while we wait, just to occupy our minds.  We pray and ask for God’s guidance..and often some clue if we are on the right track.  Still we don’t see anything moving forward and it feels like nothing is happening.

THINGS ARE STILL MOVING

But just because we can’t see any forward progress does not mean something isn’t in motion.  Even the tiny seed we’ve planted in the soil must still change in hidden ways before it pokes its tiny head through.  Growth precedes visibility!  God often works during these seasons in our lives in what might also be called “hidden ways”.  He isn’t yet ready to reveal his answer (or solution).

There may be a lesson he wants us to learn, or see our faithfulness mature before we see the fruit.  Harvest time does come, but in God’s time, not ours.   Even Biblical Joseph waited…for years… to see why God had called him to this place —prison, far from home and certainly not welcoming like his home had been (minus the jealousy of his brothers!)  But God did answer, in just the perfect time and Joseph ended up not in a prison, but in a palace, with much authority!

EVERYONE WAITS FOR SOMETHING

Again, however, like Joseph, we are forced to wait, and often we become discouraged and begin to question if an answer will ever be revealed.  So we begin comparing our journey with others who’ve gone through similar circumstances.  But each of our journeys are unique.  

Yes, there are bound to be similarities, but as God’s chosen children we each have our own path to follow.  The calling on our lives are unique to each of us.  Our lessons, interactions with other people, education, interests, background, and everything about us is directed to what God wants from our lives. 

DISCOURAGEMENT SETS IN

But as discouragement sets in, we lose motivation and find other ways to fill our days.  We stop studying (whether it’s the Bible or literal classes we might be taking), we stop praying because we wonder, ‘what’s the use?’, we fall into a hole of despair which opens the door for Satan to further unnerve us, drawing us even farther away from the God who loves us.

We forget that God is all knowing.  He can see the beginning from the end.  He knows where we’ve been, and where we are going.  But we must be willing to wait and put in the effort to get there.  It means crying out to God sincerely and allow him to work in and through us.  

WE DON'T WALK OUR JOURNEY ALONE

We need to remember, that even when we can’t see immediate answers, we don’t have to walk this journey alone or in our own strength.There is purpose for the delay, one we may or may not ever know.  

We must not give up or quit.  There is reward in ‘due season.’  We can know waiting isn’t a passive exercise, but a place where God can renew us.  God in his infinite wisdom will not fail us.  He will sustain us in this process and promised to give us His strength to carry us through.  “Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.” — Isaiah 40:31

We can do this!

Photo Credit:  Waiting Is Hard