Following God's Call

          Our family watches the Inspiration channel more than any other on TV.  What I find interesting is I look forward to some of the commercials as much as I do the shows themselves.  There are momentary glimpses of individuals who followed God’s call through their imagination and did something special.  There is one person who used his imagination to implement clean water in another country.  There are often stories about young people who step out on faith to help and create programs for the homeless.  One story involves the use of too many purses to create a spa day for women who didn’t have a new (or used) purse.

          The point is a small grain of imagination is allowed to grow and bloom to do the work of God in surprising and unusual ways with hugely fruitful results.  When we let fear erase the idea God has planted in our minds, we risk giving up a gift God has given us to bring him glory.

          Fear has a way of overriding the possibility of doing something out of the box, away from what is considered “normal.”  I will admit to having fears of inadequacy, even when it comes to putting words on paper.  I compare myself to others who have gone before, or those who in our current society are hugely successful, admired and respected as good writers.  

          My writing, however, doesn’t need to be compared to those who can write better than I.  God has given me the duty to place words on paper and then allow him to take my efforts, small as they are, and use them for his purposes.  Isn’t that what we are all supposed to do?  What we are called to do is start!  But to start we have to get going!  To get going we have to believe that we can and more than that, we have to believe God can!

          The pastor where we went to church this week spoke of Jonah who didn’t want to do what God called him to do.  He ran from God’s directive.  I would suggest sometimes we run from the calling God has given us, out of fear.  Or we could be like Moses who kept saying, “But God!”  He was sure he wasn’t good enough or qualified enough to be the leader or speaker God called him to be.  We are often no different than these important men of the Bible.  Fear, or other reasons we choose to not identify, keeps us from living and fulfilling our God given potential.

          Look at your life this week.  Consider your ideas.  As “out of the box” or different as they may seem, ask yourself if there is an opportunity, if followed, where you can make a difference, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.  God uses the most unlikely candidates and circumstances to do great things.  What is God calling you to do? 

Running In Fear

            

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigfoot

             When I was about thirteen we lived in the country in a nice community.    There was a trailer park just down the road where I often babysat.  There were lots of stories going around at that time about Bigfoot.  One night, scheduled to babysit, I left my home and walked out on the road, toward my destination, which really wasn’t uncommon.  But this particular night, there was an overcast sky, with a slight breeze.  The night was remarkably quiet.  I sensed something watching me and picked up my pace.  Just a moment later I heard the leaves rustle in the wooded area on the other side of the road.  I was startled, and then I was no longer walking fast, I was at a run.

           Fear has a way of making things more vivid than they really are.  Little ones are often afraid of the dark or of being alone in a room or being frightened when momma leaves the room.  Even as children grow, fears fade or get squelched and new ones develop.  For some there is the fear of beginning school.  Just this Fall my little granddaughter was horrified at the thought of going to that great big school all by herself and spending the entire day away from her momma and sister whom she never left before.  

            As teenagers there are more fears and adventures, even if they are mixed with excitement.  There are driving tests, career choices, relationships and more exhilarating decisions intermingled with fear as life moves forward.  Fear, like pain is very much a part of life.  But when fear paralyses us to the point of thwarting our ability to accomplish the challenge at hand, it can become a real problem.

            I remember the day my second daughter was in a car accident.  I shook with fear, as tears ran down my face, overwhelmed by the thoughts racing through my mind at all the “what ifs.” Thank the Lord, she escaped with a broken wrist, even though the car was a complete disaster, since it rolled.  My fear, before I finally saw she was all right had the potential to devastate me. 

            Many people face the fear of failure.  Given our economic situation, finances are becoming an ever increasing area of failure as people lose their jobs, homes and for some, even their self respect as frustration turns to anger; anger to bitterness and bitterness to bad decisions.  But sometimes failure allows a person to grow.  I believe not trying is worse than failing.  Good, unexpected things can come from an attempt that didn’t turn out quite like we wanted or planned.  I am convinced that God will use our failures for his benefit when we let him.

 As we get older we face the concern of illness or aging, and ultimately even death.  While I can say for the moment, illness isn’t an issue for me personally, I can see it in my family and it’s hard on everyone.  Aging is a process we don’t have control over on one hand, but I truly believe attitude and life style has much to do with the process.  As for death, I can honestly say I am not fearful.  I won’t say I want to leave my family and friends behind just now, but I do know where I will spend eternity and that brings me all the comfort I need should the event take place.

I guess my question for you today would be, “Of what are you fearful?  Is it aging, finances, failure, death?  If death were to find you today, tomorrow, or next week, do you know where you will spend eternity?”

  

My Friend

            My relationship with my children and husband differs only slightly with those I call my friends.  To see any friendship grow requires trust, attending to the little things, and honesty.  The perfect scenario is to have your best friend also your spouse.  This isn’t always the case, and women often need that unique connection with other women, which men sometimes don’t understand; although I believe if they were honest, enjoy “man to man” time, as well.

            When you think of your “best friend” where does your mind go?  Do you travel back to grade school or middle school?  Perhaps it was high school or college.  Or maybe you didn’t find that special friend you really called your “best friend” until you were older.  Do you think of the conversations when you shared your dreams, exchanged secrets, offered comfort or encouragement to a special person?  Perhaps you were the one who called with your heart breaking and needed someone to listen to you, and you had a compassionate friend who was there for you.  We’ve all had good friends and some of us have had the pleasure of a very special friend we even call our “best friend.”

            Friends are sometimes unlikely matches.  I have one friend who is so different from her best friend it seems surprising they can relate at all!  But a friendship goes beyond where you come from in society status, likenesses or differences of appearances, or the variance in finances.  A friendship which will last decades and through life changes, in both lives, requires an unspoken mutual agreement, allowing for growth, with an exceptional degree of honesty.  It requires keeping in touch regardless of the miles between you and listening honestly with your heart, without being judgmental while offering a trust the other can count on.

My friend tells the story of a time she shared something very personal with her husband something a relative had shared with her.  To my friend’s horror, her husband took it on himself to intervene in the situation.  Needless to say this break of confidence with the one person, her husband, she believed would never betray her trust, shattered any further confidences for a very long time and then only once her heart healed was able to move forward cautiously.  Not only did the relationship between husband and wife suffer, so did the relationship between my friend and her relative.  Trust is imperative in any relationship.

So it seems to me a key ingredient, and one that overlaps all categories, is trust.  Each area of my life, no matter what hat I wear or role I play, I must exhibit trust in various forms to allow any relationship to grow.  That said trust opens the door for all the other areas to bloom.  I can be honest, attend to the little things, be who I am without reservation, yet allow, appreciate and accept, where there are differences.   I reiterate my original question.  “If I could change one thing I am doing (or am not doing) now, that if done on a regular basis, would make a positive change in my personal relationship, what would it be?”  This question is applicable in all areas of your life. 

If you were to make a list of all the “hats you wear” or “all the people” you are in any given day, what/who would you be?   I am (not in any specific order since they often overlap!) wife, mother, Gran, friend, student, writer, “Princess” – my Father is a King!  -- housekeeper, cook…..  aunt, cousin, niece, sister, neighbor…… and the list, I am sure could be longer and granted, as mentioned some of these overlap.  But each of these roles offer a chance, and a responsibility, to nurture, encourage, strengthen, and support those around me.   

This week as you consider where you fit with friends, relatives, neighbors, in your work place or community, try to take the time to look at each person you know well, (in all the role areas) and see if you really do “know” them.  Are you aware of their likes or dislikes, styles, interests and maybe even their dreams?  Do you want to know?  Do you want the relationship to grow?  If you do, then ask yourself, “What is it I can do or not do on a regular basis, that would strengthen this relationship today?” 

I Love My Husband

            Marriage should be the most precious, deep, rewarding, enduring and fruitful relationship between two people, yet if the relationship isn’t fostered and nurtured with care, this valuable bond can splinter causing the greatest pain and frustration imaginable. 

I am, by no stretch of the imagination an authority, expert or any kind of counselor on the subject of marriage, but having been married forty years, I can share a little on the topic.  I do know understanding your mate, knowing their likes, dislikes and interests is hugely important.  

 

I remember when Charles and I first met.  He was very much into baseball, football and car racing.  He could whip out the names of all the players in the Oriole line up and often even from the opposing team.  Football was no different.  He had his favorites, (at the time it was the Cowboys) and again, knew the particulars about the players.  And on the subject of NASCAR, well, he was near being an expert!  He bought the official rule books, not to mention attended many races, bought souvenirs (namely hats and tee shirts, many of which we still have!) and met the drivers.  I on the other hand, knew nothing about baseball, football and certainly not racing!

Someone once asked the question of a devoted wife who had a husband who loved football: “Why do you watch football?  Surely you don’t like the game!”  Her response, “I may not love football, but I do love my husband.”  That had quite an impact on me.  What a novel thought!  That changed my perspective on how I handled those sports events I knew nothing about!  I sat down and watched with him.  It took many, many games and races to really get any kind of worthwhile understanding out of it, but I was determined!  I still couldn’t (and still can't!) name the players on the football teams or even in baseball although I could at least make a connection with a team, in the right sport, if the conversation came up; but I did learn a good deal about NASCAR, enough so that I could even have my very own favorites!  What does all this mean?  Simply, that by understanding some of the “world” my husband enjoyed, we could share it!  His “interests” became important to me, too. 

Another important element in making a marriage successful is “attending to the little things.”  Remember the little kindnesses and courtesies that make another smile.  Sometimes in our busy-ness we forget and take for granted the other person knows how we feel and can somehow know what we’re thinking.  After all, we’ve been married a long time, right?  Wrong! 

 It is vital to a relationship to invest in the time and effort it takes to remember how we treated each other when we were dating, or when we were first married.  Do I respond with a smile when he calls my name?  Do I accept when he suggests we go for a ride, even when it isn’t necessarily convenient?  Do I remember to say “thank you” for a kindness he has shown?  Do I “dress up” for him or do I greet him looking like “something the cat just drug in?”  The list could be extensive and for each couple different and personal.  Remember back….remember reaching for his hand when you were walking in the mall, or the times you spent just being together and saying nothing at all?  These are the little things, but hugely essential in “keeping the fires burning!”

So, this is where the question which was posed the first week I wrote on “relationships” comes back into play.  “If I could change one thing I am doing (or am not doing) now, that if done on a regular basis, would make a positive change in my personal relationship, what would it be?”  I’ve been married a long time, yet this question is key if I want the relationship to continue growing for another forty years!