Memories And Mercy

  Having a houseful of children, it was inevitable there would be discord!  It was interesting how during a disagreement the kids would take sides, and it wasn’t always with the same sibling!  As the controversy went on, the voices became louder and stronger, as each tried to make their demands outweigh the other.  As a parent, there were times when I needed to step in and settle it, but each child had their own recollection of what the issue was, who said what, and how it should be dealt with.

What’s interesting is how years later, the memories of unique incidents are remembered differently by the siblings involved.  When the incident involved more than one of the children, their memories are similar, but each has their own version.  They can laugh about it now and tease each other regardless of “their version” because the edge is removed and anger eliminated over time.  It no longer matters what really happened.  

Adults are no different.  It happens in marriages and it happens in church business meetings. What starts as a simple disagreement turns into a huge misunderstanding. The end result is the same---anger and a recollection of information that is skewed depending on perspective.  Ultimately, like my children, emotions need to be reined in and after a cooling period, apologies are in order.  In discussions, at a later time, forgiveness is given and those who were angered, even if the disagreement remains, can again be friends.  

There’s lots of history surrounding  the Revolutionary War from 1775-1783.  One such story includes the state of Tennessee.  It seems legend has a battle being fought between a unit that included John Sevier against Chief Dragging Canoe of the Chickamauga Cherokee on Lookout Mountain, during this time.  But historians contend this incident isn’t possible, but can absolutely document a battle here during 1788.   

It seems memories have a way of skewing even important information, even for such things as dates of battles!  Perhaps this has happened in other historical situations. Perhaps this is by God’s design.  He created us, and much like the way women forget the pain of childbirth, we are designed to have the edge of hostility removed from past situations, which allows us to rebuild relationships.

There are those in our lives who hurt us and then apologize, only to do the same thing again…..and again.  As Believers, we are told to forgive and do our best to reconcile, but once a relationship is broken, it takes time to rebuild the trust that once was, because our memories remind us of the pain. Restoration is a process that doesn’t always happen immediately, and sometimes, depending on circumstances, restoration may not be possible, even if all hostility is removed and the edge of anger and hurt replaced with forgiveness.

 

Each of us have experiences that have left us with reason to apologize.  This is apparent even in our spiritual lives because we are careful not to disclose everything about ourselves, even to our closest friend.  But God knows …..even our motives.  Only when we repent of our sins can we receive forgiveness.  Because of God’s mercy and grace, he offers sanctuary from our sins.  If you are struggling with forgiveness, I encourage you to give your anger and any unpleasant memories to God, and allow him to help you restore relationships.

#Forgiveness  #Forgive  #Mercy  #RestoreRelationships  #HurtHappens  #Restoration

Photo Credit: FREE pictures of lookout mountain TN