When You Struggle to Believe You Matter

     

       We just celebrated Mother’s Day; a day set aside to remind us how valuable mothers are in our lives.  Aside from God, they were first to love us, nurtured us as children, took care of us even when they could barely take care of themselves due to fatigue or illness; listened when we were confused; advised us a we grew; kissed our hurts away and looked past the moments that hurt to the quick, when words were spoken, or actions taken, that were inappropriate as we became teenagers. They loved us regardless of what we did, and prayed for us through it all. 

DO I MATTER?

Still, on Mother’s Day there are times when we 'older' moms feel invisible.  We feel un-needed and simply placated when things go awry.  Our children have grown, moved away and now have families of their own. We begin to ask ourselves ‘Do I really matter to my children?  Does what I think even count anymore?’

When this little voice starts whispering, it can also affect our relationship with God.  It stretches out and we begin asking the same about God.  ‘Do I matter to God?  Does he care that I feel alone and feel like I have no value?  I pray, I try to live right, so why do I feel so alone?’

WE ARE NOT ALONE

We aren’t the first to wonder about our lives in this way.  Job questioned his very existence during the time he was being and tested and experiencing horrific loss. (Job 3) Elijah felt he was a failure in his ministry and asked God to take his life. (1Kings 19)  And even David, a ‘man after God’s own heart’, cried out to God ‘What is man that you are mindful of him?’ (Psalm 8)

What’s important in all this, is to remember that our value in not based on our productivity, spiritual performance or even our emotional stability, all of which our society holds as strong truths about who we are.  

WE MATTER BECAUSE WE ARE HIS

We matter because we are God’s child.  There’s a contemporary Christian song out called ‘The Truth’ that makes me cry often when I hear it.  I am reminded that I am his, and that’s the truth—-and that’s what matters.  

        When I’m struggling, to know who I am in this season of my life, and perhaps you do too,  we can know that He’s not waiting for me to prove myself, or to present happiness when I’m sad, or to not cry when my pain becomes intense.  He loves me right where I am, regardless of my circumstances.

I KNOW I AM LOVED

Ultimately I know my children love me too.  I know they are busy with their own lives and responsibilities.  They aren’t really rejecting me, any more than God is. They just want to be who they are supposed to be, according to their priorities, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  

So I do my best to smile, accept the ‘quiet’ and know that I’m still Mom, and they know that too.  I remember the times they needed me so much I could barely keep up and just wanted to breathe; and thank God for the gift of my children; and the blessings of grandchildren.  

And if I’m still long enough, I know that God sees me too, and I am loved—not because of what I do, but because of who I am, even in my weakness when I feel alone.  I have value, and in that, reflect the image of a God who created me and does not make mistakes.

He created you, too.  And he loves you—and you totally matter, right where you are!

Photo Credit: You Matter