A lady I know well has a personality lending itself to being a ‘people pleaser’. She’d go outside her home wearing the prettiest smile, and having the nicest demeanor, but was crying inside. Her husband suffered from severe PTSD and it wasn’t pretty. In his ‘moments’ she was his victim. On many levels it could have been described as nothing less than abuse. When she went to talk with her clergyman, he said, “You must be mistaken. What makes you think…..?” She was devastated.
Judgement flowed about her, loud and clear. The response left her fearing she’d lost another part of herself. Self-doubt radiated from her very being, leaving her wondering what to do next!
Many of us face rejection at some point in our lives. Sometimes it starts when we are in elementary school because in some way we are different than our peers. It may be dress, what we think, skin color, and even our faith.
We want connection, but once rejection begins, we lose all confidence in ourselves. We hear the tiniest whisper, “You’re not good enough!” ;“You’ll never get it right.” ; or even “Why bother? Nobody cares what you think anyway.” We become fearful of sharing who we really are, and begin avoiding relationships.
So we try another tactic. Regardless of who says what, we keep our thoughts private. We smile, nod, and just keeping hiding deeper and deeper within ourselves. We become broken and reach a point where even our smile doesn’t reach our eyes. Only those closest to us, can see that, and even if they mention it, we brush it off.
God’s Word tells a different story. While it recognizes that fear is real, (it tells us 365 times to not fear!) it also tells us fear does not get the final word! “God’s perfect love drives out fear.” (1John 4:18) There is no rejection, resentment or resistance about who we are; no pretense; just His Perfect love!
God isn’t looking for a filtered version of us, he already knows the real us! He knows our doubts, failures, insecurity…and the truths others don’t know! He reminds us -- ‘we are his!” (Ps. 100:3)
His love doesn’t need to be earned; we cannot be disqualified from it, and regardless of where we are in life, he will receive us right where we are. Our circumstances do not define our identity in him.
Rejection does not get to write our story. He does! We no longer need to hide, because we’ve been invited into God’s Light…to be healed and freed!
Jesus experienced the greatest rejection ever, on the cross; and he knows just how that feels. He even cried out, “My God, My God. Why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15: 33-34) He was temporarily forsaken to die and reconcile us with God. He knows shame, yet he had never sinned. He gave all for a world who rejected him.
In Christ we have total acceptance; we are seen, and deeply loved. It’s the kind of love that pushes out fear. Through Him we have the courage to live authentically, love boldly, and engage in relationships without hiding the real person we are.
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