As my quiet
time came to a close, I stopped thinking and just tried listening, hoping to
hear God’s voice. The scripture from
Proverbs 31 came to mind, so I reached for my Bible and read the chapter. At the conclusion I was left with this
feeling of total incompetence. I simply
was not doing enough. I surely don’t
come close to matching the woman described as a “wife of noble character” in
this chapter. I would have to make
changes! I would begin rising earlier
and working later, doing less of “nothing” and concentrating on using my time wisely and being more productive!
Then I read
the commentary below the scripture. It
pointed out that women, like me, often compare themselves to this passage and
like me, feel inadequate! Yet, no woman
can be perfect or completely measure up to these standards. Frustration and despair would set in if we
believed we needed to be this person!
Further, God accepts us just like we are and we should allow God to
change us into the image he wants us to be.
If God can accept us, we should be able to accept ourselves. As we grow, we will begin to reveal the
characteristics that demonstrate the unmatched perfect wife.
Accepting
myself, can be a struggle, however. I am
far from who I would like to be! I am a
procrastinator in some areas and tend to put off what needs to be done. This happens primarily in my writing when I
have a large daunting assignment ahead of me.
This may be perhaps out of fear of failure or again from the feeling of
inadequacy. I find when I break a
project down into sections, I do much better, because I can look at the small
tasks without the great fear of the massive undertaking. This is a good thing considering I want my
writing to be fruitful and to always honor God.
So I find
myself changing my prayer, somewhat!
Instead of “Lord give me motivation to study more, to write more, to be
a better wife….” which are all about me, I want to pray that he would give me a
heart to keep striving to become the woman he wants me to be. I need to pray that more than anything I
would love him first and more than anything else. Then pray for his direction, guidance, and that
his kindness be reflected in all I do.
When I do
this, I am honoring Him and making my life about Him, not me!
A
wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10