Honoring God

            As my quiet time came to a close, I stopped thinking and just tried listening, hoping to hear God’s voice.  The scripture from Proverbs 31 came to mind, so I reached for my Bible and read the chapter.  At the conclusion I was left with this feeling of total incompetence.  I simply was not doing enough.  I surely don’t come close to matching the woman described as a “wife of noble character” in this chapter.  I would have to make changes!  I would begin rising earlier and working later, doing less of “nothing” and concentrating on using my time wisely and being more productive!                                                                                        

            Then I read the commentary below the scripture.  It pointed out that women, like me, often compare themselves to this passage and like me, feel inadequate!  Yet, no woman can be perfect or completely measure up to these standards.  Frustration and despair would set in if we believed we needed to be this person!  Further, God accepts us just like we are and we should allow God to change us into the image he wants us to be.  If God can accept us, we should be able to accept ourselves.  As we grow, we will begin to reveal the characteristics that demonstrate the unmatched perfect wife.

            Accepting myself, can be a struggle, however.  I am far from who I would like to be!  I am a procrastinator in some areas and tend to put off what needs to be done.  This happens primarily in my writing when I have a large daunting assignment ahead of me.   This may be perhaps out of fear of failure or again from the feeling of inadequacy.  I find when I break a project down into sections, I do much better, because I can look at the small tasks without the great fear of the massive undertaking.  This is a good thing considering I want my writing to be fruitful and to always honor God.

            So I find myself changing my prayer, somewhat!  Instead of “Lord give me motivation to study more, to write more, to be a better wife….” which are all about me, I want to pray that he would give me a heart to keep striving to become the woman he wants me to be.  I need to pray that more than anything I would love him first and more than anything else.  Then pray for his direction, guidance, and that his kindness be reflected in all I do.

            When I do this, I am honoring Him and making my life about Him, not me!         

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10