Approval Addicts

            

           I remember while in high school wishing I could “fit in.”  I wasn’t in band, or in any clubs, wasn’t a cheerleader or attend football games or any other sports, attend parties, or do any of the other really “cool” stuff my peers seemed to be involved in.  I did well in school and had friends, but never saw them outside the classroom (or lunch room).  Because of my lack of “extra-curricular” activities, I was set apart. There were times when that bothered me; not always, but sometimes left me feeling like an outsider.

            We all have a deep-seated fear of rejection.  It’s important, especially at the teenage level, to feel like you belong and “fit in.”  There are horror stories about kids so intensely desiring to be part of “the crowd,” they partake of bad behaviors which can become habitual, like taking drugs, drinking alcohol, getting covered with body art and any number of other things.

            While we believe we eventually outgrow this need to fit in, sometimes we never do.  We still worry, “What do people think of me?”  This is especially evident in a room of mixed Believers and non-believers. In a one on one conversation, depending on who we are talking with, we may be willing to share our faith, if we are relatively certain talking about our faith won't ruin our relationship.  

            In a room of “mixed company” where the language may become offensive, or behaviors become less than Christ-like, we often tend to just shut down and not say anything.   We are certain if we do, it’s going to set us apart and our friends will be totally non-forgiving and non-understanding!

            Can you imagine what Mary, the teenaged mother of Jesus, must have felt? She was to be married to Joseph, yet here she was--- pregnant!  The scandal; worthy of stoning!  And to make matters worse, people would either think she engaged in pre-marital sex, or think her crazy to say the child was conceived by the Holy Spirit.  

            Can you imagine being visited by a sword carrying, brightly lit angel? There are some places in God’s Word which says those visited by angels were terrified. Even the angel who visited Mary said, “Do not be afraid.”   Our television world has images of angels as soft, tender and pleasant.  That isn’t necessarily a Biblical perception.  As she faced this angel, do you think she wondered what the world would say about her situation, her parents, or even Joseph? Perhaps she did consider this, but only for a moment, because her response to the news was, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38)

Mary made the choice to accept the responsibility of carrying the Christ Child.  Would we be so brave? Would we, in today’s world, be more likely to consider our personal character defamation before we considered God’s instruction?  I think we often do.  We are certain we won’t “fit in,” we aren’t prepared, don’t have enough funds to do what He’s asked, are unwilling to risk ridicule, mockery, scorn or anything that makes us uncomfortable.

Rather than being an "approval addict," I encourage you to consider what God is calling/asking you to do.  Is it outside your comfort zone?  Will it place you in a situation where ridicule may be possible?  Noah, the apostles and others were in a good place for that, but they followed God’s call; as did Mary. Shouldn’t we?

Listening More Than We Talk

         

           I am a chatter.  Anyone who knows me (and probably some who don’t) have witnessed my compulsion to chat just because I can, and I completely enjoy it.  When I’m nervous, it’s worse.  I not only ramble, I do it in fast forward!  I don’t have to chat about anything important, I just want to converse about fun things to do, the weather, traveling, an outfit or hairstyle that is particularly cute, etc.  

            There are times when conversation can be intense and that can be pleasurable, as well.  When discussion is about those things in our lives that give value and meaning, it’s particularly interesting, especially given the various perceptions.  Talking about our families and children can be great! A dialogue about a good book is just fun and a discourse on a study project (especially one where I’m lost) is helpful!

            One area many people shy away from, at least in the public forum, is discussion on God’s Word.  Our culture has reached the point, where these kinds of discussions can be “hazardous to our health” politically and even sometimes physically, depending on where you live and who else is in the room.

            Dialogue is great; listening, however, can be a problem.  Even when we are having a conversation, sometimes we are forming conversation in our brain to speak, while the other person is still sharing their thoughts!  When this happens, we hear with our ears, but not necessarily with our minds or hearts.  This can even be seen in church services when the Pastor is sharing the message.  Instead of focusing on what he’s saying, we are thinking about what we’ll fix for lunch or dinner, who we might call on the phone later in the day, what football game, Nascar race, or other sports game might be on in the afternoon or thousand other things unique to each of us.

            When I have a Bible question sometimes I will ask the Pastor, other times I ask another friend who seems to have amazing discernment regarding God’s Word. I asked him once how he was so ‘versed’ in scripture.  He explained he was ‘discipled’ by Godly men from his church.  He met with them as a group from time to time, as well as, one on one during the week, with at least one of them.  His listened.  He grew!

            Having mentors is a great asset to our Christian growth.  The Bible is filled with answers to all our questions, but sometimes it helps to put our thoughts, emotions and perceptions on the table in front of someone who can take the information and with prayer, reach into God’s Word for clarity, giving us the advice we really need. It teaches us how to do this for ourselves.  But it requires time and listening!

            Time is something we seem to have little of in our day to day lives.  The moments rush by every day and we seldom accomplish everything we need to! Instead of 24 hours in the day, we need about 48!  Our priorities become skewed causing us to choose what we must do, and it doesn’t always include God’s Word, or even sharing with someone stronger in the faith than we are.  

            I encourage you to choose to ‘listen’.  Listen to your heart’s cry for wisdom that comes from the daily feeding of Christ—and meeting with a mentor to be discipled.  Choose to take the time for prayer and quiet time that allows us to hear from God.  This is where our answers can be found.

Overcoming Strongholds

Video games are the rage for young people, and to be fair, there are adults who also get lost in all the action and interaction of the games.  There is tactical roleplaying in battle strategy and other role-playing which can cause some to become so involved in the game they lose sight of what is real.

            These games have changed the atmosphere of our culture, as the themes of some of the games can compromise the line of good and evil.  But this isn’t the only place a stronghold of behavior can be seen that can be detrimental to relationships and our health.  It can be something as benign as food, shopping, food or work, or as frightening as alcohol, drugs, and even shame.  It takes a lot of dedication and commitment to fight the struggles that threaten to overcome us.  

            When we are “addicted” to anything that isn’t Christ-like, we tend to want to hide from God, believing there is no way we can be forgiven or be accepted in the Kingdom.  But the Good News is that God does not see us where we are or what we’ve done, or even as a “recovering addict,” but rather, where or what he has “purposed” for our lives!  Our identity is not in what we were, but as a child of God!  

            Satan is “on top” of everything we do, and will use the words we use, to destroy us.  He is the great deceiver and whispers lies that sound like truth.  Yet, he is terrified and trembles with fear and anger with every Believer in Christ who chooses to turn his back on his personal “strongholds.” Still satan will use our doubts in, or of, our faith when we waver, if only for a moment.  

Because we are forgiven we are made new and whole in Christ, and therefore, can face what seems like insurmountable challenges, because in Christ we can leave our strongholds at the cross.  We can face satan and demand his retreat when we proclaim freedom from evil through Christ.   By God’s grace we are given spiritual weapons to work with.  We’ve been blessed by the written Word of God, the name and blood of Jesus, the word of our testimony, prayer and the Holy Spirit. 

It is said our lives mirror our heart.  Each of us face daily circumstances which demand attention.  How we handle given situations will determine the attachment we have to our “strongholds.” Our natural tendencies are to return to those things which seem to elicit immediate pleasure even when we know it is wrong.  

But Christ went to the cross so we could overcome whatever ties this world has holding us down.  We are given the freedom, through Jesus’s blood, to become washed clean; boldly proclaiming we are no longer slaves to the strongholds that once were.

It’s a New Year!  It’s a great time for new beginnings.  Are there strongholds in your life separating you from intimacy with The Lord?  Start a new day with freedom in Christ.  God is right beside you waiting for you to invite Him in!  Use the spiritual weapons available to stand your ground against anything that delights in being a stronghold in your life, that keeps you from Jesus.

A Picture of Grace

We are entering another New Year; a time when people often make New Year’s resolutions.  I considered attempting to create a new list again, but thought better of it since I rarely follow through with my efforts, although my intent when beginning is strong.  It seems “life” has a way of changing priorities and my “list” gets tucked at the bottom of my “to do” and eventually vanishes into nothingness!

Now that said, there have been years where I committed to making God first in my day and thankfully, by His grace, I have sustained this way of life.  I find it empowering when I begin the day in The Word and prayer for my daily thought process and behavior.  It’s a reminder of what is important in the whole scheme of things.

There’s a story in the Bible about a woman who visited Simon the Pharisee’s home who endured the label of “ill-repute.”  She was not an invited guest, so when she arrived, Simon was not pleased.  When she saw Jesus, she washed his feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair, and even kissed them.  Lastly, she poured expensive perfume on them.  She recognized Jesus for who he was, and also recognized her sinfulness.

Because of her humility, Jesus forgave her sins, telling her, her faith saved her.  Her forgiveness wasn’t granted because of the “work” she had done, or lack thereof. Grace was given because she understood the value of Jesus’ worthiness.  Her understanding created a great love for Jesus, which confused those around her, who didn't.  

As we face the uncertainties and challenges of the coming year, where or who is your first love?  It’s easy to say we love Christ first, but does our lifestyle bear witness to this statement?  We live very busy lives.  Between work, parenting obligations, family commitments, our social life, and entertainment, it seems there aren’t enough hours in any given day to be able to complete the long list of things demanding our attention.

Is God first? Do we commune with him daily? Is there ample time to sit and listen to his direction for our lives?  I suggest for many it’s not.  Because our lifestyle dictates what time we finally make it to bed because we are either up late due to work, watching TV or enjoying the “night life” whatever form that takes, we are still tired in the morning when the alarm goes off.  We hit the snooze button, because the last thing we want at that moment is to crawl out of bed.

Jesus gave his life so that we can experience a personal relationship with him, as Savior of the world.  Do we recognize that?  I’m certain at Easter (and even at Christmas) this thought comes to the forefront of our minds.  But does it the rest of the year, or does He get lost in this thing we call “life”? 

I encourage you to reflect on old habits.  It's a great day--a great year-- for a new beginning!  Happy New Year!   

Recognizing The Christ Child

           

          Christmas is only days away.   Excitement can be felt when you stroll the mall, visit a small gift shop, listen to Christmas music, wrapping presents, baking, church services, sitting in front of the tree with a cup of hot chocolate, the sparkle in the eyes of little ones and a long list of other traditions families share.

            Beyond all of these ideas, however, is something even greater, that should cause every believer to become giddy with excitement.  Think about that very first Christmas!  The Angels announce the birth to the Shepherds with no small ceremony! They were excited!  The Shepherds responded with “Let’s go see this thing!” So, they left their flock and went! 

After the Shepherds found the tiny Babe, just as the Angels described, they shared with others as they returned to their home, what they had seen.  They were giddy about their news!  They wanted everyone to know the message of hope they witnessed in the least likely place; Bethlehem and in a very humble bed, a stable with animals.  They had seen the Savior!  The glory of God came and they were invited to celebrate! In essence, the Shepherds were the very first evangelists!

            The Shepherds also demonstrated that God can use the poor and weak to be strong and wise.  What a great lesson for us.  We get so tangled up in the things we don’t feel qualified to do, we lose opportunities to do great things.  

            Simeon who saw the tiny child only eight days later, was also excited.  He knew when he saw this little one, that He was the Messiah!  Simeon was so excited he even said he was ready to leave this earth.  He had witnessed the coming of the Savior. Luke 2 describes Simeon as giving a message of praise after seeing the child.  He was celebrating!

            Still another who recognized the significance of the Jesus, was Anna, the Prophetess.  She knew that this baby, which Mary held close, was the Savior.  She, was also excited!  What a gift both she and Simeon were able to receive, but also proclaimed.

            Are we any different?  Should we be any different?  Christmas is all about hope and joy, love and gifts, celebration and obedience, sharing and sacrifice.  We should all have a message of praise!  The gift Simeon and Anna recognized, should be even more evident to us.  We have God’s Holy Word to confirm what they just “knew!”  We have written scriptures and the Holy Spirit to guide us, give us purpose and the supernatural gift of Salvation!

            As the time creeps closer to Christmas day, remember the gifts we give to each other are in celebration of the Christ Child.  We are sharing with those we love the tradition of gift giving, with Jesus being the Greatest Gift ever given.  When we sing Christmas carols, we should sing with great praise in our hearts, not only through a pattern of habit.  When we read the scriptures of Jesus’ birth, we should remember that little baby was the ultimate sacrifice who came to give his life for our sins. What an amazing and life changing gift. 

Encountering Christ

There are many ways to open gifts.  It’s amusing watching the child who is just learning there are treasures beneath the pretty paper, and needs encouraging to pull off the paper.  Once he has the idea, the pieces often come off in two inch squares. 

Then there is the child who is so excited, the paper comes off in great large swatches!  As the paper goes flying, the only thought on his mind is attempting to find out the contents!  His exuberance doesn’t always end even with the opening of the package! He “oohs” and “ahhs” for at least fifteen seconds and then is ready to open the next one, again with the same amount of exuberance as displayed moments earlier!

And then there are those, like my mother-in-law used to be, who opened her gifts with agonizing patience so not to injure the pretty paper wrapped around her gift!  Not only was her paper completely intact after opening, the tape was so carefully removed or cut, you couldn’t even tell tape was there!  And before she would even open the box, she would neatly fold the rescued wrapping and place it beside her for next year’s gifts!   For those of us who wanted to know her prize, or those who knew what was inside and waited to see her pleasure, found our nerves nearly bursting with excitement!

            While the little ones didn’t “really” have what anyone would call a tradition, surely my mother-in-law savoring the opening of her gift (or maybe it was a fun type of torture!) was a process that actually became her own “personal tradition!”  Everyone knew to expect it as we sat around the tree opening gifts! 

            Some traditions include celebrating the joy of Christmas through unbelievable lights that line the streets and outline buildings during a Christmas Parade.  It can be dazzling and mesmerizing.   Other times there are Christmas festivals, Christmas cookie bake-offs, Advent calendars, attending the lighting of the Christmas tree in the center of town, caroling and attending a Christmas Eve service.  

The reality of the season, however, is best when we are encountering Christ.  At the end of the day, it’s about Jesus!  It’s about opening our hearts to allow the greatest gift ever given to melt all prejudices, hatred, fears and ills of the world from within us.  We have not only the pleasure but the privilege of opening the best and greatest gift ever given!

Jesus is the ultimate gift, born in a humble manger to be the Savior of the World. Easter is so closely intertwined with this holiday, since this tiny Babe would eventually fulfill his mission on earth only 33 years later when He gave his life for the entire sins of the world. This gift is beyond human understanding; yet it is as real as the air we breathe.

So, I encourage you to reach out to your neighbor, friend, family member or even a stranger as you reflect on all this holiday represents. It doesn’t matter how different we are from our neighbor down the street, across town, and beyond our natural boundaries.  The Infant in the manger came to touch all lives. Embrace the joy, love, kindness, giving and peace that is Christmas.  Offer a smile, a touch or hug, and spread the joy!

Christmas Connections

             Traveling, some years back, my husband, son and I visited a community who had developed a “live stage of Nazareth.”  When we were ushered into the “play” we were confronted with busy townspeople, all going “about their business.”  There were women getting water from a well, a street vendor selling wares and beggars on the street. Our journey continued, until finally we were at an animal stable with a trough.  It wasn’t the cleanest spot of the town, but it wasn’t supposed to be; animals lived there!  By the time we finished our “tour” of the town I was completely mesmerized by how “real” the whole situation had felt!

            As children, many of us participated in Christmas Plays.  It’s wonderful to be able to hone in on the context and genuine feelings initiated by those who experienced the “original first Christmas.” But it’s safe to say, often the best efforts of little ones add a spark of humor in the way only little ones can! 

            It seems some of the oddest things can happen during our local Christmas plays. There is the normal situation where a child forgets his lines and needs a little coaching, or a little angel whose halo keeps falling, regardless how many times it is adjusted.  But occasionally there is the child who when playing a camel will have one of the lumps on his back shift to the side as he makes his way down the aisle. Or the little angel who didn’t allow for the door and finds her wings ripped off.  And when the young ones sing there is always one child who sings much louder than the others, and one who sings totally off key.

            But no matter what happens during these precious plays, it’s the idea that we become part of the holiday.  We are in the first Christmas story that happened so many years ago.  We get a giggle out of the “odd” thing that happened, but it’s the story that stays with us.  It’s that feeling of Christmas that can’t be replaced by any material gift.  

            Certainly, we are grateful for the gifts we receive.  It’s a joy to watch the children’s eyes light up with delight as they open that one gift they were hoping for all year.  But it’s traditions like the Christmas play people use to “reconnect” with the “joy of the season.”  

            Christmas parades and other productions continue around the country. It’s awesome when small towns have their own parades and celebrations, with the entire community taking part.  Some towns will produce their own version of the Nativity story, much like the one we visited while traveling but not on such a detailed or grand scale.

            Most people, however, as our Christmas traditions become more and more secular, decorate with Santa, the Grinch, elves and Charlie Brown/Snoopy characters. I enjoy seeing these decorations, but they are not the heart of Christmas.  Jesus Christ is the singular reason why we have Christmas.  He is God in human form, providing the means of the Perfect Atonement for our sins.  

            Our connections with the season is important.  It is why we celebrate.  I encourage you to reflect on your traditions of Christmas.  What do they symbolize?  Do they share the message of the birth of the Christ Child and redemption or something else?