A Wicked Disease

            Cancer is a wicked disease.  It seems nearly every week we learn of another friend or family member who has some form of the illness or who has lost a life.  I have one friend who beat the disease some years ago, an aunt who lost the battle about a year ago, another friend who lost her life only a few weeks ago; and now another family member is, at this writing, fighting for his life with the prognosis of about three weeks to live.   

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Cancer, however, doesn’t have to be just a physical illness.  It can be emotional or even spiritual, verbal, or social and more.  It steals our lives of joy and happiness as it poisons friendships and marriages. When we have a headache or backache we reach for the medicine cabinet and retrieve the remedy of choice to take away the pain.  Most of the time, unless there are extenuating circumstances, within an hour or so, the pain is gone.  Yet when we look at the “pain” within a marriage or other relationship caused by this other type of cancer, there isn’t a cure within medicine cabinet.  There are no pills, potions, elixir or any other type of concrete remedy to choose from.  So we deal with the pain.  

Sometimes a person, certain he* is justified in using whatever method necessary, to exercise power and control over another, will go into denial and refuse to admit there even is a problem.  This process can run so deep, even when the truth is before him* it is not even recognizable.  The “cancer” reveals itself through emotional, verbal, spiritual, social, financial, sexual and sometimes even physical abuse.  

Then you have the other side of the coin.  The “cancer” has been a part of the partner’s life so long, it becomes a normal part of the everyday life, until she* believes this is what life is supposed to be.  It doesn’t mean the behavior is liked, it just is.  So the partner deals.  They might cry in despair, berate themselves because they are sure it’s their fault and are absolutely certain they are the only one living this horrible life.

This type of situation is further exacerbated since this cancer is often imbedded within their spiritual life.  The Bible is quite clear about how husbands and wives should treat each other.  When Satan plants the seed of any type of abuse and it’s allowed to grow, then sin creeps in and further clouds what is right and wrong.  The longer the situation ferments the worse the circumstances can become.  So what medicine do you use to free the victim and the abuser from the claws dug deep into the very spirit of the participants?

I suggest only God can free the chains of such a condition.  It must first begin within the victim, who chooses to say, “With God’s help, I will no longer be bound by Satan’s grip through disrespect and a violation of God’s Holy Word.”   What happens next depends on the choices made after that first decision is made.  The “victim” must decide how to proceed.  Should they leave, confront, seek counseling, seek advice from family, church family, or use another method? 

 Once a direction has been planned and carried out, the other participant (the abuser) in this cancerous situation will be required to make a decision.  How will they handle what is before them?  Will they remain in denial?  Will they admit to a problem at all?  Will they recognize that often anger and frustration being doled out on another, comes from something deep within them?  And if they do recognize the issue, what will they do about it?  

Our world is changing daily.  Our lives are continually being attacked by Satan.  It can be a physical assault like cancer or other illness, but it can also be abuse in any number of areas and less obvious to outsiders.  Statistics show that about one third of marriages deal with emotional abuse in some form.  Yet, many people aren’t even aware such issues exist.  Satan is very real and uses this kind of subtle cancer to destroy people’s relationships and lives.  

I would ask this week as we ready for the celebration of our Lord’s Resurrection that we look at our personal relationships and ask if we are being the person God called us to be in whatever relationships we have.  Do you love and cherish the one you married?  Do you show your spouse every day you love them and want to be with them?  This time of Resurrection is the perfect time to restore broken relationships.  Jesus died on the cross to restore the ultimate relationship: the one between us and God.  Can we do any less with those we love?