Grace Under Pressure

  A friend describes a relationship a relative has with a neighbor.  Over the years, they’d never been ‘friendly’ with each other, but there came a time when their lack of ‘friendliness’ escalated to disdain, over the treatment of her daughter, which gives questions to ‘can people just instinctively not like each other’?  

Their relationship became so volatile it nearly drove them to hiring lawyers against each other.  The story goes that while the issue was never resolved, that lawyers were never involved, but they very deliberately avoided each other.  They would choose to wait outside the building (like a post office) until the other came out and left, before they would enter, rather than risking ‘getting to close’,  if they needed to be in the same area.  They chose to never speak to each other, even to be polite, in any social gathering and refused to even attempt to understand the other.  

What makes people clash with each other, in the way my friend describes? Is it a personality conflict, just a person who chooses to be difficult, or something more?  When we stop and think about it, clearly someone is friends with both persons—although these ‘friends’ rarely cross over. They each have relatives, relationships, connections, and friends who would never see the side of them, that others see and tag them ‘disagreeable or difficult’.  

Separately they are likely level-headed, charming, kind and thoughtful in their personal spaces.  So what instigates such a hostile, different behavior between others?  

Often times you hear of this kind of thing in the work place whether it be a boss who is just difficult or a co-worker set out to make your life miserable.  But are they really?  Could it be this ‘difficult person’ was brought into our lives to teach us something about ourselves?  

As believers, we are taught we are supposed to love,  ——even loving the ‘unlovable person’.  This can be terribly challenging, even on our best days.  Our instincts go against it!  Instead of having a friendly, loving kind of feeling, we are feeling anger, frustration, a need to ‘thump’ someone, or lash out verbally.  Our hackles rise, heart rate (and likely blood pressure) rise and it feels like sand paper rubbing together.  The last thing we want to do is ‘deal with them’ in a kind, thoughtful way.  

Biblically we are taught that the world  doesn’t recognize believers by comfort or even agreement—-but in love.  When we love those who seem difficult, or broken or even abrasive, we are reflecting the light of Christ in ways that otherwise would be impossible.  

Could God be asking us to notice ---and ask ourselves what it is that makes the “difficult” person so hard to love?  Could we need to do some soul searching to see if our anger and hostility is misplaced; or if we are harboring feelings of jealousy or even superiority that God wants us to change?  It’s been said the thing that angers you most about another person is often something that resonates within yourself.  Perhaps that’s true, I really don’t know.

Maybe we are to see that we need to address humility in some way, or taught to show more grace or even patience.  Is God using difficult people to shape in us a Christlike heart?

      Difficult people leave us with several options.  We can freak out and want to challenge them on every level.  Or we could ignore them completely and theoretically no longer have an issue.  Or we could step back and observe them for a while and ask the hard questions.  Are we showing grace under pressure?  Am I being the kind, thoughtful person God has called me to be—-especially to the ‘difficult’ person, so he can see Christ in me?

Photo Credit: Neighbors Arguing 

Photo Credit: Neighbors being good neighbors 

Photo Credit: Love Your Neighbor 

Photo Credit: Love Difficult People 

Trusting Jesus When Doubt Whispers

  For years I would wait for summer to come so we could travel to South Dakota.  I loved it there.  It seems something about the Black Hills just pulled on my heart strings.  I couldn’t describe it, but I knew I wanted to be in the mountains.  Over the next two decades my family would make the two day trip out, (we were younger then!) stay the week and then make the trip back!  Once my husband retired, we would take our RV and summer out there.  It was the dream location.

IN THE MOUNTAINS

Then as God would have it, we made a trip down to the Sevierville, TN area.  We were again in the mountains, and we bought a place.  This became the place we wanted to live.  We began building our house and suddenly life was turned upside down.   Charles unexpectedly passed away.

EVERYTHING CHANGED

I made the decision to continue with the build, even though I’d not have Charles to share our dream.  As a widow, everything changes— sort of.  It’s like I had to start all over again, but I’m still doing the same thing.  In many ways I feel like I’m still in waiting mode!

BIG DECISIONS

There’s no question that building a house takes time.  But I’m not even in TN!  I’m in MD!  So I wait!  I wait for updates, pictures, even the bills which need to be paid.  And I wait for the date on the calendar which will initiate my return.

Many years ago a friend said, it’s wrong to ‘wish for things to happen.’  I asked him why.  And he said, ‘when you are so focused on what you want in the future, you miss what’s going on right now; today!  You’re wishing your life away'.  

WAITING IMPATIENTLY

  I know that’s true and I try not to ‘wish my life away’ or even to wait impatiently for the day to come where I’ll journey to my home in the South!  And honestly, it wouldn’t make any sense to go sooner, the house isn’t finished yet!

Waiting is hard! But someone else said, ‘patience isn’t passive behavior—-it’s trust in motion’.  That struck me because it’s not about trust in the people building my house, or anything a person can do.  It’s about trusting God; his timing and will to make everything work together for His good!

CHOOSING TO TRUST GOD

It means choosing to trust God in the moment even when the outcome is unclear!  I can’t help but recall that Jesus died on the cross.  The disciples scattered for a while and then ended up together in a room while they waited.  They didn’t know what to do next!  Their Messiah, the Christ was no more in their space.  He was in a tomb.  They knew he’d died.  They were at a total loss.   Before the event happened, they were positive he was the Christ!  So how’d all this happen?  And why?

WAITING

The how’s and the why’s are questions we ask, too, especially when we are required to wait for something that seems unclear.  But on that third day, Jesus rose again!  They remembered all the things he’d taught them and suddenly it made sense!

Patience doesn’t mean we aren't doing anything.  We are stretching in our faith and growing into the person God wants us to be.  Waiting refines us.  It helps us meet with God and align our hearts with his.  In the waiting we are uncomfortable, perhaps even agitated, stressed and unsure of how to respond, and want to know what to do next.  

PROMISES FULFILLED

But when the waiting is over, there is healing, storms are stopped, lives renewed,
and promises fulfilled.  There is light at the end of the tunnel—-a shimmer of sunshine through the clouds and illumination driving out the darkness.

The reward of the light is realizing that God was working the whole time!  —-Even when we doubted and became impatient for something to happen!  It may seem that ‘things aren’t moving’; and we’ve been waiting for such a long time without seeing the light. 

But the light does come and God isn’t slow in keeping his promises.  He’s got a plan; a design to strengthen us and ‘grow’ us.  Waiting is hard.  But the prize is perfect, more than we could imagine, and in God’s perfect timing.

Photo Credit: Faith 

Photo Credit: Trust 

 

Peace In The Chaos

         I was surprised when the phone call came.  He said simply, “I quit!”  The conversation with a person I’d hired six months ago, left me with ‘What in the world am I going to do now?' and a sinking feeling. Taking a deep breath, I thought, “God’s got a plan.”  

After talking with my children, one said, “Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.”  Another said, “It was time.  It wasn’t working!”  Still, for me, I felt momentarily lost with so many questions about how to proceed with the project he’d been hired to lead.  It was way beyond what I felt I could handle.

I kept reaching out to God until finally, I just told God, I just need your peace.  I know you are there!  You’re weren’t surprised with this ‘event’.  I know you love me and will help me through.

Eventually I calmed down and my son and I created a tentative new plan and he assured me we’d get through.  I prayed again before going to bed and had no issue falling asleep.  But as 4:00 a.m. rolled around, the darkness seemed alive and well in my brain again, just like the cold darkness outside.  I tossed and turned as I relived the conversation and all the questions that followed.

When I woke again, I asked God to give me something to calm me once again.  I wanted so much to just trust Him with what I’d given Him—a total surrender, which was totally genuine, —until all those negative, critical voices came calling again. 

Then there was Bible time!  I love the time I spend with the Lord in the early
morning….before the sun even rises.  And God gave me a verse from Job 29.  “His candle shineth upon my head, and by His light I walk through the darkness.”  Job 29:3

It was totally what I needed.  God’s light is available to me 24/7, even in the darkness when sounds from the depths of blackness begin howling and tormenting.

There’s a song about how when asking for peace during a storm…. that God doesn’t always remove the storm; but he does walk with us through it!  It isn’t that he ‘can’t’ remove the storm; but it’s what we can learn as we walk through it.  

I will learn to depend and trust him even more.  I will be reminded that in God’s strength all things are possible, even about things I know nothing about!  I will be reminded that worry only brings more anxiety, and is horribly unproductive!  I will see that it’s not about my fears, it’s about God’s presence and power.

As of this writing, while the family and I have a plan, we still don’t know God’s plan.  It may be completely different that what we envision.  But that’s okay.  Chaos ma,y in some form, continue to haunt me as I learn how to wait on God, allowing Him to work out the details I don’t know anything about, and more.  And who knows, he might even send a person more suited my needs and way of thinking to replace the person who quit.

I know God is for me and I also understand that Satan is going to do all he can to alter God’s plans.  But God will prevail, because he is all powerful and faithful, with a unique perspective on things unseen, and an enduring love.

As we face this New Year, it’s hard to tell when any of us will have an overwhelming challenge that will seem to overtake the world we have been accustomed to living.  It’s the way of life.  It’s how we respond to these challenges that helps define who we are and indicates how we choose to live.

I expect as the days, weeks, and months ahead, I will need to make decisions I hadn’t planned on.  Still I know if I go to the Lord before I make a decision and wait for him to show me what I should do, it’s much more likely I’ll make the correct decision!

What challenges are you facing today? Have you had a ‘talk with God’ about it? Perhaps this is where you will find his unique peace. 

Photo Credit: Peace In The Chaos

Photo Credit: Peace In The Chaos