The Heart Of The Matter

  I remember in college when my professor was teaching about ‘behavior modification’ and the idea that behaviors, both good and bad, could be learned and unlearned.  The main ‘participants’ for this research was dogs, but the idea was to transfer to children.

While I admit there is validity to the concept, even then I had a terrible time accepting the idea as positive proof.  Dogs were all about their bellies!  When they were hungry with a promise of food, absolutely they would be obedient and the change was obvious.  

         It’s more complex with children who have personalities, their own emotions, characteristics, and DNA.  Having had five children, I can attest to the fact they’re all different! 

DOING WHAT IS EXPECTED 

When I consider the relationship we have with Christ, I wonder if there are days He just shakes his head!  There are those who do all the right things: go to church, read His Word, serve, volunteer, and say all the right things; all of which are behaviors which can be measured, likely by any human interested enough to take note.

Sometimes, however, even when doing all the right things, underneath all these outward acts of obedience, a resistance and even resentment grows, because these behaviors of doing everything good --is what’s expected of a believer.  

        It isn’t they believe being a believer is wrong, but it is about boxes being checked so anyone looking on will think everything is right— that we have everything in control.

LOCKING THE ‘DOOR’S TO ROOMS IN OUR HEARTS 

Control, however, doesn’t always make us happy.  That anger we try to hide from losing a friend to cancer; having financial difficulties we want don’t want anyone to know about, forgiveness we find hard to give, or a hundred other things we don’t want noticed, we refuse to surrender to the One who can change our hearts.  

        Fear quietly closes doors inside our hearts. We lock the rooms we don’t want to let anyone in, convincing ourselves they’re off limits and hope no one —including God— will ask for the key!  

        If we acknowledge it, we’ll have to change it!

So we do all the right things and focus on only what others can see, while inside we’re being eaten away by those things over which we have no control --and yet won’t admit.  Instead of giving it to God, we’re saying ‘I can manage on my own!’

CHOICES

Just as each of my children eventually had to choose whether they would trust the wisdom we tried to teach them, as believers, we must decide whether we will choose God’s way or insist on relying ourselves.  Are we able to surrender our lives, and trust that His way is always better than ours?

When our heart isn’t aligned with God, we attempt to manage our ‘behavior’ and reduce our relationship with Him.  Our motives put up a door that we refuse to open because we don’t want to admit that we’re fearful of what God will see, if we open it.  Or— that if we open that door, we might need to make some changes within that room!

NOT PERFORMANCE MEASUREMENTS

Our relationship with God is not about performance of a measurable behavior.  It’s about accepting the God who loves us ‘just because we are’.  As we yield our lives to Him, surrendering even those things that need a little reshaping, the relationship will change our heart. This single act of obedience will grant us peace we can never have when we’re trying to ‘manage’ things that will only destroy us, when left unchecked.

As our hearts are changed, we become more like the God who loves us and wants our ‘good works’ to be accomplished because of our relationship with Him, not because we want our deeds measured by those around us.

Photo Credit:  Behavior Modification