My Very Different Children

            As I think about my personal relationships, I can’t help but think about my own children, whom I love very much, and bring me much joy.  I am very blessed to have three beautiful daughters, as well as, two sons who have grown into wonderful men.  As a mother, I remember when they were little and how I cared for them, loved them….and failed them.  Yes, even, failed them.  The truth is we all make mistakes and those mistakes cost us.  Depending on the “size”  and “nature” of the mistake, the cost can result in broken relationships which take a lifetime to repair.

            I was talking with a friend recently and we exchanged “dysfunctional” family stories!  My childhood was less than stellar and so was hers.  It makes me wonder how my children would define theirs!  Sadly the relationship with my mother was never the ideal “mother-daughter” relationship, although we were friends.  I am happy to say, while there are occasional hiccups, the relationships I have with my children are good, even while they are all different.

            The truth is though, the question about what I could make a priority to ensure the relationships grow, rather than stumble, makes me take a hard look at my options.  Each of my children is unique with special personality characteristics.  I am always amazed at their differences as I look at their interests, style, dreams, abilities and perspectives.  I need to honestly search for ideas through these differences for ways to do something special for them as often as I can.  

            I have one daughter very much like her father: determined and strong willed; while another is driven, highly intelligent and very maternal; and another who is social, warm and fun loving.  My sons also have very different personalities.  One is the image of his father and also has his strong personality, yet can be very sensitive, while his brother is gentle yet firm, soft spoken yet resolved, and a wonderful husband and father.

            Their interests, styles and abilities, as mentioned, are as varied as their personalities!  Here too, I must seriously sit down, examine their differences and similarities and create a specific list to work with based on what is important to them so I can better decide ways to strengthen the bonds with each one, which is what, as a mother I need to do and even more so, what God calls me to do.  

   

            And then there is the whole “mother-in-law”angle and grandmother perspective, which again is going to require another serious look at ways I can strengthen the relationships.  It doesn’t have to be any big, heroic thing.  Often, small and subtle is better.  All our material things are going to pass away…..what I do with and for my family is what means the most.

            Just in case you’re wondering, I haven’t forgotten my husband!  That relationship requires even more attention.  That said, I will deal with it on another day.  For now, this is enough.  I hope it’s given you some food for thought in your own families, as you become creative in strengthening relationships!